Author: ACEC

  • The Myth of Self-Control

    Psychologists say using willpower to achieve goals is overhyped. Here’s what actually works.

    • Brian Resnick

    As the Bible tells it, the first crime committed was a lapse of self-control. Eve was forbidden from tasting the fruit on the tree of knowledge. But the temptation was too much. The fruit was just so “pleasing to the eye, and also desirable for gaining wisdom,” Genesis reads. Who wouldn’t want that? Humanity was just days old, but already we were succumbing to a vice.

    The takeaway from this story was clear: when temptation overcomes willpower, it’s a moral failing, worthy of punishment.

    Modern-day psychologists might not blame Eve for her errant ways at all. Because what’s true today was also true at the beginning of time (regardless of what story you believe in): Human beings are horrible at resisting temptation.

    “Effortful restraint, where you are fighting yourself — the benefits of that are overhyped,” Kentaro Fujita, a psychologist who studies self-control at the Ohio State University, says.

    He’s not the only one who thinks so. Several researchers I spoke to are making a strong case that we shouldn’t feel so bad when we fall for temptations.

    Indeed, studies have found that trying to teach people to resist temptation either only has short-term gains or can be an outright failure. “We don’t seem to be all that good at [self-control],” Brian Galla, a psychologist at the University of Pittsburgh, says.

    The implications of this are huge: If we accept that brute willpower doesn’t work, we can feel less bad about ourselves when we succumb to temptation. And we might also be able refocus our efforts on solving problems like obesity. A recent national survey from the University of Chicago finds that 75 percent of Americans say a lack of willpower is a barrier to weight loss. And yet the emerging scientific consensus is that the obesity crisis is the result of a number of factors, including genes and the food environment — and, crucially, not a lack of willpower.

    If we could stop worshiping self-control, maybe we could start thinking about diluting the power of temptation — and helping people meet their goals in new ways with less effort.

    The case against willpower

    Many of us assume that if we want to make big changes in our lives, we have to sweat for it.

    But if, for example, the change is to eat fewer sweets, and then you find yourself in front of a pile of cookies, researchers say the pile of cookies has already won.

    “Our prototypical model of self-control is angel on one side and devil on the other, and they battle it out,” Fujita says. “We tend to think of people with strong willpower as people who are able to fight this battle effectively. Actually, the people who are really good at self-control never have these battles in the first place.”

    This idea was crystallized in the results of a 2011 study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology. The study tracked 205 people for one week in Germany. The study participants were given BlackBerrys that would go off at random, asking them questions about what desires, temptations, and self-control they were experiencing in the moment.

    The paper stumbled on a paradox: The people who were the best at self-control — the ones who most readily agreed to survey questions like “I am good at resisting temptations” — reported fewer temptations throughout the study period.

    To put it more simply: The people who said they excel at self-control were hardly using it at all.

    Psychologists Marina Milyavskaya and Michael Inzlicht recently confirmed and expanded on this idea. In their study, they monitored 159 students at McGill University in Canada in a similar manner for a week.

    If resisting temptation is a virtue, then more resistance should lead to greater achievement, right? That’s not what the results, pending publication in the journal Social Psychological and Personality Science, found.

    The students who exerted more self-control were not more successful in accomplishing their goals. It was the students who experienced fewer temptations overall who were more successful when the researchers checked back in at the end of the semester. What’s more, the people who exercised more effortful self-control also reported feeling more depleted. So not only were they not meeting their goals, they were also exhausted from trying.

    “There’s a strong assumption still that exerting self-control is beneficial,” Milyavskaya, a professor at Carleton University, tells me. “And we’re showing in the long term, it’s not.”

    What we can learn from people who are good at self-control

    So who are these people who are rarely tested by temptations? And what can we learn from them? There are a few overlapping lessons from this new science:

    1) People who are better at self–controlactually enjoy the activities some of us resist — like eating healthy, studying, or exercising.

    So engaging in these activities isn’t a chore for them. It’s fun.

    “‘Want-to’ goals are more likely to be obtained than ‘have-to’ goals,” Milyavskaya says. “Want-to goals lead to experiences of fewer temptations. It’s easier to pursue those goals. It feels more effortless.”

    If you’re running because you “have to” get in shape, but find running to be a miserable activity, you’re probably not going to keep it up. That means than an activity you like is more likely to be repeated than an activity you hate.

    2) People who are good at self–control have learned better habits

    In 2015, psychologists Brian Galla and Angela Duckworth published a paper in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, finding across six studies and more than 2,000 participants that people who are good at self-control also tend to have good habits — like exercising regularly, eating healthy, sleeping well, and studying.

    “People who are good at self-control … seem to be structuring their lives in a way to avoid having to make a self-control decision in the first place,” Galla tells me. And structuring your life is a skill. People who do the same activity — like running or meditating — at the same time each day have an easier time accomplishing their goals, he says. Not because of their willpower, but because the routine makes it easier.

    A trick to wake up more quickly in the morning is to set the alarm on the other side of the room. That’s not in-the-moment willpower at play. It’s planning.

    This theory harks back to one of the classic studies on self-control: Walter Mischel’s “marshmallow test,” conducted in the 1960s and ’70s. In these tests, kids were told they could either eat one marshmallow sitting in front of them immediately or eat two later. The ability to resist was found to correlate with all sorts of positive life outcomes, like SAT scores and BMIs. But the kids who were best at the test weren’t necessarily intrinsically better at resisting temptation. They might have been employing a critical strategy.

    “Mischel has consistently found that the crucial factor in delaying gratification is the ability to change your perception of the object or action you want to resist,” the New Yorker in 2014. That means kids who avoided eating the first marshmallow would find ways not to look at the candy, or imagine it as something else.

    “The really good dieter wouldn’t buy a cupcake,” Fujita explains. “They wouldn’t have passed in front of a bakery; when they saw the cupcake, they would have figured out a way to say yuck instead of yum; they might have an automatic reaction of moving away instead of moving close.”

    3) Some people just experience fewer temptations

    Our dispositions are . Some people are hungrier than others. Some people love gambling and shopping. People high in conscientiousness — a personality trait largely set by genetics — tend to be more vigilant students and tend to be healthier. When it comes to self-control, they won the genetic lottery.

    4) It’s easier to have self–control when you’re wealthy

    When Mischel’s marshmallow test is repeated on poorer kids, there’s a clear trend: They perform worse, and appear less able to resist the treat in front of them.

    But there’s a good reason for this. As University of Oregon neuroscientist Elliot Berkman argues, people who grow up in poverty are more likely to focus on immediate rewards than long-term rewards. Because when you’re poor, the future is less certain.

    Researchers want to figure out if self-control could feel effortless

    The new research on self-control demonstrates that eating an extra slice of cake isn’t a moral failing. It’s what we ought to expect when a hungry person is in front of a slice of cake. “Self-control isn’t a special moral muscle,” Galla says. It’s like any decision. And to improve the decision, we need to improve the environment, and give people the skills needed to avoid cake in the first place.

    “There are many ways of achieving successful self-control, and we’ve really only been looking at one of them,” which is effortful restraint, Berkman tells me. The previous leading theory on willpower, called ego depletion, has recently come under intense scrutiny for not replicating.

    (Berkman argues that the term “self-control” ought to be abolished altogether. “It’s no different than any other decision making,” he says.)

    The new research isn’t yet conclusive on whether it’s really possible to teach people the skills needed to make self-control feel effortless. More work needs to be done — designing interventions and evaluating their outcomes over time. But it at least gives researchers a fresh perspective to test out new solutions.

    In Berkman’s lab, he’s testing out an idea called “motivational boost.” Participants write essays explaining how their goals (like losing weight) fit into their core values. Berkman will periodically text study participants to remind them why their goals matter, which may increase motivation. “We are still gathering data, but I cannot say yet whether it works or not,” he says.

    Another intriguing idea is called “temptation bundling,” in which people make activities more enjoyable by adding a fun component to them. One paper showed that participants were more likely to work out when they could listen to an audio copy of The Hunger Games while at the gym.

    Researchers are excited about their new perspective on self-control. “It’s exciting because we’re maybe [about to] break through on a whole variety of new strategies and interventions that we would have never thought about,” Galla says. He and others are looking beyond the “just say no” approach of the past to boost motivation with the help of smartphone apps and other technology.

    This is not to say all effortful restraint is useless, but rather that it should be seen as a last-ditch effort to save ourselves from bad behavior.

    “Because even if the angel loses most of the time, there’s a chance every now and again the angel will win,” Fujita says. “It’s a defense of last resort.”

    The original article appears here: https://getpocket.com/explore/item/the-myth-of-self-control?utm_source=pocket-newtab

  • Leading People Through Uncharted Waters

    by Adena Johnston, D. Mgt., MCEC

    Several clients have reached out asking what they can do to support their employees during this difficult and confusing time.   Not every organization uses team technology nor does team technology get back to the basics.

    Our bad habits are on full display as we begin to see the damaging impact of searching for true information on untrusted sites or relying on social media to inform us of something so critical as our health and safety.  Now is not only the time to spot (sorry for the oxymoron) real fake news, but it is also the time to increase personal discipline.  Please remind people to FIRST access their local district information and SECOND the CDC.gov website.  Local responders are moving quickly right now.

    Here are critically important tips to assist individuals and managers as they swim in uncharted waters.

    Establish Discipline

    • Set a schedule – wake up at the same time each day and instill this in your children.
    • Schedule “standing” meetings with the team. These should be held at the same time, so people have a schedule to manage. 
    • If members of your team have young children home from school, take the time to ask them when it would be most convenient to check in since now, they have two full-time jobs.

    Get “Closer”

    • Schedule virtual coffees.  These are opportunities to connect in real time and keep colleagues connected to work and projects.
    • Set individual calls to touch base with teams, clients, and managers to build continuity so work does not fall behind or get disconnected.
    • When people feel disoriented or discouraged, help them to focus on what they can control.
    • Reassure people that they are not alone.

    Go to the “Mindset” Gym

    • Help yourself and those you manage identify opportunities and not challenges.
    • Demonstrate confidence that you will be there, everyone is in this together, and the organization will get through this uncertain time.
    • Don’t be a pie-in-the-sky optimist.  This is a time for objectivity with a dose of positivity.
    • Remain flexible with others!  This is the time to adapt your style and approach and meet people where they are.
    • Be flexible in your own head!  Continuously generate new ideas and approaches for how you and others can respond to this changing environment.

    Take Good Self-Care

    • Create regular opportunities to move.  Exercise as simple as a walk around the block each hour will prevent other issues brought on from a sedentary experience.
    • Eat at structured intervals to ward off over-eating or grazing out of boredom.
    • Find humor.  Think about ways to bring on laughter.  There are great websites of truly funny jokes and stories, or videos to prompt an authentic response.

    Breathe…

    Adena Johnston, D. Mgt., MCEC
    Vice President & Practice Leader, Talent Development CCI Consulting

  • What does it take to become an inspirational leader? Practice, practice, practice…

    “I don’t understand it. We sent him to an expensive leadership development program, but I haven’t seen any improvement in his approach to leadership.”  

    Sound familiar? Unfortunately, this frustration and confusion is a common refrain in many organizations.  While there is certainly individual variation in the full explanation for why this occurs, one of the common denominators is a flaw in the design of some leadership programs.  Simply put, many programs focus on the acquisition of leadership knowledge rather than focusing on the practice of building leadership skills. 

    While the study of leadership can be compelling and engaging, it is not the same as – nor does it result in – an improvement in leadership capability and behavior. 

    We wouldn’t want to go to a physician who went to the lectures and read the books, but who never built their skills through extensive clinical practice.  Why are we surprised, then, that a theoretical leadership development program would fail to yield practical skills?  We should be more surprised at the number of leadership programs that do not have the equivalent of that extensive clinical practice built into the curriculum. 

    To build leadership skills, it is critical to create a program that strives to help participants not only learn about leadership, but to actually  embody  leadership.  

    Successful leadership programs share seven key features: 

    1. Tools that increase self-awareness.  Self-awareness is the foundation of any successful skill building endeavor.  If individuals do not know where they are at the start of the learning process, it is challenging for them to know, and to be invested in, the aspects of learning and behavior development that are most relevant and important for their success. To help leaders gain this critical self-awareness, use assessment tools that capture deeper, more integral aspects of individuals, such as motivation, as well as one that assesses current leadership behavior patterns, including observer feedback. 
    2. Practical models and frameworks that support behavior change and skill development.   Just as cooking is made easier with clear recipes, the development of leadership is made easier by utilizing practical frameworks that provide guidance and direction for behavior. 
    3. Peer mentoring.  One of the best sources of insights and ideas to work through leadership challenges is for leaders to share them with peers and seek their counsel.  One of the best ways for leaders to gain confidence is by sharing their knowledge, insights, and experiences with their peers. 
    4. Many opportunities to practice, reflect… and practice some more.  Leadership is an embodied endeavor.  It is demonstrated through communication, expression, and actions.  As we say at MRG: “If it is not visible to others, it is not leadership.” To bring about successful changes in behavior and skills, individuals need the opportunity to practice behavior modification, receive feedback, reflect on their own experiences and goals, and to then repeat the cycle… again and again. 
    5. Ongoing coaching.  Ultimately, the test of the effectiveness of skill development and behavior change can only occur in the context of the individual’s work setting. Coaching outside of the classroom provides the opportunity for reflection, dialogue, feedback, and idea generation to help facilitate the application of program learning. 
    6. Organizational and managerial involvement and commitment.  Behavior change and skill development are ultimately the responsibility of the individual leader.  But organizational and managerial support is necessary if meaningful and sustained progress is to be made.  The organization is responsible for providing resources and for building and maintaining a culture where effective leadership and career-long learning is expected, supported, and reinforced.  The manager, in turn, must provide ongoing encouragement, feedback, and coaching to support the individual’s continued development in the leadership role. 
    7. Individual motivation.  Leadership is a challenging endeavor.  It requires commitment, an ongoing willingness to learn, and a fundamental belief in the importance of effective leadership for individuals, teams, and organizations to thrive. The best leadership development efforts in the world will only succeed when participants are motivated to participate and to do the hard work of building leadership capabilities. 

    We can all point to examples of ineffective – perhaps even damaging – leadership.  And we can all identify effective leadership that, in some cases, is even inspiring. 

    In order  to achieve inspiring leadership, motivated individuals with organizational and managerial support need to commit to learning, reflecting, and practicing throughout their careers.  It’s hard work.  But it’s also the only path to developing a level of mastery in the area of leadership. 

     

    AUTHOR: 

    Tricia Naddaff 

    As president of MRG, Tricia uses her penchant for bursting into song and bringing out the best in people in approximately equal measure.

  • Don’t Wait for an SOS – Teams that Need Help Aren’t Always in Crisis

    In an increasingly collaborative working world, healthy professional relationships are often the key to getting things done efficiently and effectively. Yet when it comes to development, many organizations focus almost entirely on individual development – of leaders, of high potentials, even of at-risk employees – and leave team development on the back burner until a crisis rears its head. While advocating for team development investment can be a challenge when there’s an absence of urgency, I would argue that foregoing team development is leaving money on the table – both by allowing inefficiencies to fester, and by generating costly turnover from employees who are less than satisfied. 

     

    When we started exploring how to create a tool that would help teams, we wanted to make sure we built something that wouldn’t just work in crisis or conflict. We wanted to build something that would help any team operate more effectively by revealing sources of friction, imbalance, or bias that linger below the surface. 

     

    The IDI Team Development Report was designed to do just that – help any team work more effectively by operating from a deeper level of self-awareness and team awareness.  And it’s been exciting to start hearing stories of this tool is working in the field, helping a wide range of teams improve the way they function. 

     

    In a new Case Study, longtime MRG partner Uli Otto of lrb Solutions shares the story of coaching a team that was struggling to build strong connections. The organization’s leaders were genuinely caring people who were struggling to signal their caring in a way that the rest of their team could experience it. The organization had been reeling from some recent change and upheaval, and there was something about the way these leaders were communicating that was leaving their employees a little lost. 

     

    Uli employed the new IDI Team Development Report to build an engagement that would help six key employees develop a deeper understanding of each other on a motivational level. She used the report in combination with other tools and a few of her own signature exercises (the “Troll in the Woods” exercise is a personal favorite of mine!) to guide the team in a direction that would help them reach their goals of forming stronger team connections and working together more effectively. 

    In a forthcoming case study, we’ll explore developing a team that’s experiencing much more obvious friction. But for many organizations, the need for team development isn’t a distress signal – it comes from an organizational need for everyone to operate more effectively. 

     

    Download this case study here. 

     

    AUTHOR: 

    Lucy Sullivan 

    Lucy is the Head of Marketing at MRG. She’s a passionate people person who talks with her hands even when she’s on the phone. She will not rest until everyone on earth has taken their IDI.

  • When Looking at Gender Differences in Leadership, Start with Data (Not Anecdotes)

    The conversation about gender and its impact in the workplace began before women even entered the workforce in significant numbers. Today – whether in fiction, in journalism, in self-help books, or in the speeches politicians and pundits – the conversation about gender dynamics in the workplace continues to expand and evolve. The pay gap, gender parity in leadership, paid parental leave, establishing inclusive environments for a broader gender spectrum, and the right to a safe, harassment-free work environment – all of these are critical topics in the conversation around gender, and they have all been discussed with rising urgency in recent years.

    Yet for all of this talk, it feels like progress is slow, and consensus on these topics is elusive.

    How do we begin this conversation with some common ground, and avoid relying on stereotypes and biases? How do we learn to understand, acknowledge, and ultimately leverage the power of the differences in the way we lead? And critically for coaches – how do we learn to develop leaders effectively while accounting for the impact of gender in the workplace?

    The first step is to look for answers not in anecdotes, but in objective data. In a new global study of 8,772 leaders, MRG looked at the data on leadership behaviors and competencies, from the perspective of both the leaders themselves, and of those who were observing them.

    A sample of this size – also matched for management level, job function, and generation – gives us the opportunity to look more objectively at the patterns that may (or may not) exist in the way men and women behave in leadership roles.

    A few things stood out:

    • Surprising areas of common ground. There were several behaviors where men and women did not perceive themselves as different, and their observers felt the same way. For example, there was no statistically significant difference between how men and women were rated on dominance (pushing vigorously to achieve results) by any group. So while stereotypes may still cast men as more “driven,” the data says otherwise.
    • Our own observations don’t always align with our colleagues’. Part of the value of 360 data is illuminating our blind spots, and helping us discover areas where we perceive our own behavior differently than our colleagues do. It’s no surprise, then, that men and women, as groups, had areas where they simply didn’t see themselves the way others did. While women rated themselves as more outgoing than men did, none of the observer groups saw any difference. As for men, they didn’t see themselves as any more conservative than their female colleagues, but all three observer groups did.
    • Women were scored higher on a broad range of leadership competencies. The LEA 360 captures ratings on 27 different competencies. Which of these competencies are more critical for success depends on the organization, its needs, the role, and the individual; there is no single “right” profile for leadership. Notable, though: where there was a gender difference in the data, women were far more likely to be rated higher on competencies than men. Out of 27 competencies rated by three different observer groups, men were rated higher than women only twice; women were rated more highly 32 times.

    The full study is worth a read. Click here to download the study Exploring the Gap: Gender Variations in Leadership Behaviors and Competencies.

    AUTHOR:

    Lucy Sullivan

    Lucy is the Head of Marketing at MRG. She’s a passionate people person who talks with her hands even when she’s on the phone. She will not rest until everyone on earth has taken their IDI.

    View original publication on mrg.com

  • Leading across Borders: Using Data to Inform a Global Workforce

    There’s no denying that, in ways both personal and professional, we are more globally connected than ever. In fact, the flow of information internationally has increased more than 250% since 2001, according to the 2018 DHL Global Connectedness Index.

    Many of us also hold stereotypes about different countries. Some common stereotypes are accurate but at least as many are inaccurate. So how do we know which is which? Stereotypes are based on experience, whether it is our own or something we hear from others. However, an individual can only collect a limited amount of data on any particular group.

    To gain a more accurate understanding of how people – leaders in this case – behave, we need to rely on large sets of data that accumulate the experiences of many different individuals. To this end, MRG recently conducted a study of 144,665 leaders working in 18 different countries to determine how much countries really differ in their overall leadership practices.

    Not surprisingly, Canada and the United States were more similar to one another than they were to any of the other 16 countries in this research. Similarly, Spain and France were more similar to one another than to any of the other 16 countries. However, the research also revealed that Switzerland is more similar in its leadership practices to Brazil than it is to Germany. This may surprise some of us who assume that geographic proximity is more important that other factors.

    What does this mean for coaching? As more and more leaders find themselves working internationally and developing professional relationships that cross borders, coaches need to make a greater effort to understand variations in leadership effectiveness around the world. This is critical both for support leaders in developing the behaviors that are most relevant where they work, and to support them as they navigate the sometimes choppy waters of a global business environment.

    Findings like these, which take advantage of the experiences of many different individuals around the world, will continue to help us identify real differences in leadership practices, facilitate our global interactions, and maybe even make us think twice before we make any assumptions.

    For the complete study, download the whitepaper Think Globally: Variations in Effective Leadership around the World here.

    AUTHOR:

    Maria Brown

    Maria is Head of Research at MRG. She loves a challenge and often gets a little too excited about running new studies. She finds peace and balance by cooking (as long as her husband is doing the cleaning) or being anywhere near the ocean.

    View original publication here

  • A Delicate Balance: How Effective Consulting Leaders Manage the Needs of Clients and Business

    Working in the consulting industry myself, at first I found it a little ironic that it was so challenging to write this post. Flipping the switch from client calls and content development to writing was daunting, and I kept putting it off. Then I realized it was fairly emblematic of the challenges of life in the consulting industry in general: the constant switching of gears as you try to balance the needs of your clients with the needs of the business. 

    Consulting leaders aren’t alone in having to balance conflicting demands, of course. However, they are often pulled further in the client demand direction than to the internal. They often see it as a business necessity: if you aren’t meeting client demands, you’re probably not going to be in business much longer. 

    Another challenge in this space is that the qualities that make someone a great consultant may not necessarily contribute to making them a great leader. In fact, many “good consultant” qualities may be at odds with “good leadership” qualities. Sometimes it’s difficult to practice what you preach! 

    A number of qualities are transferable, though – and identifying them may help those of us in the consulting world feel a little less disjointed in our day to day work. Being able to effectively communicate, help others stay engaged, and utilize a degree of persuasion are behaviors that commonly appear in our research on effective leaders across all industries, and consulting leaders are no exception. 

    What’s interesting about our research into consulting leaders is thinking about how they are utilizing these behaviors. Also noteworthy is how important it is for these leaders ability to shift gears quite rapidly to meet the changing demands placed upon them. Whether that be a client saying they need something yesterday, or a junior consultant asking for developmental opportunities, the types of questions asked of them place them in a unique category. 

    To explore the full set of results, click here. 

    AUTHOR:

    Andrew Rand 

    Drew is MRG’s resident I/O psychologist. When not at MRG, he’s either with his family (most likely) or in his workshop (less likely). His stack of unread books is commendable.

    View original publication here

  • The Leadership Challenge No One Talks About

    by Cindy Knezevich

    View original publication on smarttribesinstitute.com/

    As a leadership and culture coach, I’m often asked: what is the hardest part about being a CEO? Although as a CEO you get to shape a company in your image, hire people to work with you, and receive recognition for your accomplishments…

    …It’s also incredibly lonely.

    CEOs claim the biggest leadership challenge they face in their roles is not having anyone to confide in. Given the overwhelming responsibility and pressure to appear calm for employees, to consistently deliver results and to be where the proverbial buck stops, it’s no wonder CEOs have a tendency to isolate themselves.

    And it’s a problem.

    The Loneliness Dilemma

    According to the Harvard Business Review, half of CEOs express feelings of loneliness, 61% of which believe loneliness hinders their job performance. The office environment is intense enough… But then there’s the media.

    CEOs are now seen as public figures, more so than they ever used to be. In 2015, Fast Company published an article comparing the best and worst leaders, with CEOs making both sides of the list. Then Business Insider joined the conversation and detailed the worst American CEOs of all time.
    Unfortunately, technology has blurred the lines between private and public life. Feeling a strong lack of privacy contributes to deeper feelings of isolation… And that’s not good for the brain.

    Loneliness can make you sick. How? It’s been proven that social isolation affects behavior and brain operation. Isolation and loneliness trigger that fight-or-flight response, which can lead to ill health and even death. Loneliness can affect your sleep patterns, stress hormones, and even the production of white blood cells. It’s crucial to learn how to overcome these feelings of loneliness at work so you can be healthier and work more efficiently.

    Here are my top 3 tips for overcoming the leadership challenge of loneliness as a CEO.

    Join A Support Group

    Support groups for CEOs are on the rise. Many of our clients find Young Presidents’ Organization (YPO) and Entrepreneurs’ Organization (EO) to be terrific networking communities as well as support systems, as many of them are facing the same leadership challenge of loneliness.

    Joining a support group will give you the safety, belonging, mattering you crave in a community of those who are similar to you, and aren’t afraid to give you some tough love and honest feedback. Forming connections with others also strongly alleviates stress. People with strong social ties live longer and have better mental health than those who feel isolated and lonely.

    Balance Work And Home Life

    As a CEO, it can be impossible to ever feel ‘done’ with work. When work begins taking over all aspects of your life, it can be difficult to have time to form crucial social connections. There are a few ways you can cultivate a balance between your work and personal life.

    Leave the Office Before Dark: Leaders like Sheryl Sandberg (Facebook), Spencer Rascoff (Zillow), and Hiroshi Lockheimer (Google) all make an effort to be home for dinner. They say it gives them more time to spend with their families and allows them to create boundaries between work and home life.

    Stay Present: Do you ever find yourself not entirely present in the moment? Your mind can wander anywhere, from a business meeting to the family dinner table. Sometimes, creating a necessary balance can be as simple as staying in the moment.

    Vulnerability Is Actually Strength

    What would it look like to allow yourself to be vulnerable? To Swiss Life’s Patrick Frost, the ability to be vulnerable means not being afraid to show weakness. In fact, Frost believes weakness is important in a business setting because it fosters discussion about key problems. CEOs lead by example… Letting your team know you’re open to discussing important issues will make them feel more comfortable coming to you. Start by being in touch with how you feel at any given time.

    Allowing others into your personal world cultivates trust and respect, and is the perfect solution to loneliness. If you’re confiding in others, and letting them really see you, you’re breaking that barrier of isolation that comes with the job title.

    The Net-net

    It’s lonely at the top — but it doesn’t have to be. Let people in, confide in support groups, and take time to yourself to reconnect with those most important to you.

  • Embrace Your Leadership Weaknesses (and turn them into strengths)

    Embrace Your Leadership Weaknesses (and turn them into strengths)

    By Lynn Varacalli Cavanaugh

    View original original publication on Progressivewomensleadership.com

    #1: Micromanaging

    Do you check in on your staff several times a day to make sure they’ve completed every little task? In an effort to ensure that things get done, you might have inadvertently become a taskmaster. Perhaps you’re a new leader or you’ve have had role models that might have influenced your management style. But good leaders put trust in their team, even trusting them with sensitive company information. And most times, good employees will step up to show the leader they’re worthy of that trust.

    Fix this flaw: The best approach? “Focus on specific outcomes and trusting your team to follow through,” says Keisha A. Rivers, founder, The KARS Group. Do periodic check-ins to ensure progress is being made, “rather than wanting to be cc’d on every single email or requiring your team to provide daily status reports,” she says.
    #2: Requiring 24/7 access

    An always-connected approach to leadership has become the standard for today’s workplace, but is it always the best way to operate? No, it’s bad for leaders and team members alike. Leaders need to be aware of the impact that 24-7 connectedness has on their teams, making them feel they should be online because their leader is. This can set unreasonable expectations for when they should be working and lead to burnout and feelings of resentment. And for a leader, stretching yourself too thin is unproductive and will do more damage than good for you and the company.

    Fix this flaw: Even though project management tools, IM, email, etc. allow managers to “participate in every minute decision that gets made,” says Nicholas Thorne, CEO, Basno, it doesn’t mean they should. If you communicate clearly and set consistent expectations, you’ll empower your team members to work decisively. A good leader understands the need to recharge so employees can come back and stay productive. A leader needs to step back in the same way. Otherwise, you’re more likely to lose focus and make mistakes and exercise poor judgment.
    #3: Being stuck in your ways

    The way you’re doing things may be working, but it’s important for leaders to constantly make themselves aware of innovative ways to improve their department, and the company as well. The best leaders challenge themselves to continue to grow and learn – and are always inspiring their employees to continue to create innovative solutions.

    Fix this flaw: To stay adaptive and innovative, leaders need to open their mind to new ideas and fresh perspectives from their team. “Make it a top priority to not only solicit feedback from them, but also decipher that feedback and act on upon it,” says Liz Elting, co-CEO, TransPerfect.
    #4: Not being a team player

    Are you walking the talk? Have you ever, in front of your team, criticized another employee or complained when you have to do something you’d rather not do? As a leader, you set the tone for your team’s behavior and work ethic. That’s why a leader needs to be hyper-aware of her behavior and hold herself to the same or higher standards. And that means working as hard or harder to gain your team’s respect.

    Fix this flaw: As you create the environment you want your team to collaborate in, you need to be right there in the thick of it. You don’t want to isolate yourself from your team or act like you’re better than them, advises Monahan. “When you make yourself vulnerable,” she says, “you make yourself relatable.”
    #5: Having goals, but no vision

    Your team always needs to know what they’re working toward. What are the goals? What is the overall vision for the company? Employees need to know their work has meaning and is contributing to a bigger picture. In a recent leadership survey by The Alternative Board, 46% of companies feel a leader’s most important function is “accomplishing goals,” followed closely by “setting a vision” (38%). The two go hand in hand, yet many leaders struggle to craft and communicate a clear vision and the necessary goals to accompany that vision.

    Fix this flaw: As a leader, you need to paint a picture for your team. Share with them where your company’s headed in the long-term (the vision) and in the next month, quarter, year, etc. (the goals). “As leaders, it’s up to you to provide a clear but succinct picture of the vision and desired outcomes for the team,” says Rivers. “People connect to a project or task much easier if they know where it’s headed.” Your team will be more productive. It will motivate them and keep them on track.
    #6: Needing to be liked

    Leaders are people first, and it’s natural that they want to be liked. But the need to be in everyone’s good favor can sometimes cloud good business judgment. Managers need to sometimes make unpopular decisions, says David Scarola, VP, The Alternative Board. It goes with the territory.

    Fix this flaw: The best leaders know that if they make consistently good decisions, and “take the time to explain their reasoning, they will earn the respect of their employees,” says Scarola. Choose respect over being liked every time.

    Becoming aware of a weakness is key. Perhaps regular inventories of your past performances and results can help you identify them. This self-awareness is invaluable, since it’s an opportunity for growth that will take your leadership to the next level.

  • Three Transitions Even the Best Leaders Struggle With

    Three Transitions Even the Best Leaders Struggle With

    by Cassandra Frangos

    View original publication on HBR.org

    We love to read about the dynamics of success. We study it, celebrate it, and try to emulate how successful leaders rise to the top. I’m no different: I’ve spent my career helping executives succeed, either through coaching and development or assessments of their strengths and opportunity areas to identify the development work they need to do to take their careers to the next level. But even as I’m drawn to success stories, I have found that the greatest lessons come from examining failure.

    For instance, my last research effort looked into how elite executives make a successful transition to the C-suite. As I worked through the interviews, I found that executives whose careers had been derailed shared many commonalities. Specifically, I found that C-suite executives are vulnerable to career failure when they are in the midst of one of three common transition scenarios.

    1.The leap into leadership. The transition to the top team is demanding, with 50% to 60% of executives failing within the first 18 months of being promoted or hired. For instance, Gil Amelio was Apple’s CEO for less than a year in 1997, and General Motors’ chief human resources officer decamped in 2018 after just eight months in the job.

    For some, this high-profile leadership transition is more than they bargain for. They are unprepared for the frantic pace or they lack the requisite big-picture perspective. (Sixty-one percent of executives can’t meet the strategic challenges they face in senior leadership.) This is an especially common risk for leapfrog leaders — executives one or two steps down in the organization who skip levels when they are elevated a top spot. But even the most seasoned executives have little transparency into looming team dysfunction or insurmountable challenges until they are actually in the role.

    One veteran executive I know accepted a job reporting to the CEO only to find that her functional area had been mismanaged and was in serious financial disarray. She started to turn around its performance in year one, but her reporting structure was altered mid-stream, and she found herself accountable to the CFO. The new situation left her feeling “micromanaged,” and she moved on two years later.

    The single best thing a new executive can do to avoid a brief tenure is to actively pursue feedback. Most undergo rigorous executive assessments prior to receiving an offer, but soon they are too occupied with the demands of the job to be introspective. Many benefit from in-depth 360-degree reviews at six to eight months and then again at 18 months. One division president I interviewed learned in her 360s that board members were skeptical of her abilities. To her credit, she did the difficult work of getting to know the board members better and put together a plan to actively win them over.

    Overall, knowing the areas others think you need to grow allows you to get the support you need — executive coaching, finding a peer-mentor, or adjusting your team to round out your development areas. It also helps you assess whether you are fitting onto the culture or if you need to strengthen key relationships internally and externally.

    2. The organizational transition. I would argue that nearly every organization today is either considering or enacting a transformation of some type. Even in this “change is the new normal” reality, high stakes transformations are highly risky for executives who fail to reinvent the organization or themselves fast enough.

    Mergers, for instance, create instant overlap in executive roles, and redundant leaders can be swept out in waves. Just as often, leaders fail to read the tea leaves before a surprise executive succession and are left vulnerable when their allies exit. But by far the biggest derailer for executives during this transition is misinterpreting the need for change or getting on the wrong side of it. For example, Durk Jager stepped down as CEO of Proctor & Gamble in 2000, just a year and a half into the job, after roiling P&G’s conservative culture by taking on “too much change too fast.” More often, leaders are too slow to act or unwilling to get on board as a change effort gets underway. In 2009, for instance, GM removed its CEO, Fritz Henderson, because he was not enough of a change agent.

    To survive organizational and industry shifts, leaders need to get ahead of change. They need to think about where they fit into the new order and find a way to have an impact. They also must overcommunicate with the CEO or board to make it clear where they stand on the need for change and how they will lead its implementation.

    3.The pinnacle paradox. The last tricky transition that derails executives is the career pinnacle. C-suite leaders are at the apex of their careers. They have competed for years and achieved what they have been striving for: a spot on the top team. As a result, many experience a type of paradox: They are working harder than ever to succeed, but they don’t know what’s next in their career. In time, this uncertainty, combined with job stress, can lead to burnout. Executives I have coached sometimes hit the ceiling and feel “stuck” at the top. Whether they experience burnout or move on for another reason, the average tenure of C-suite leaders has been declining in recent years. According to one study, the median tenure for CEOs at large-cap companies is five years. The tenure for CMOs is even less: 42 months, according to Spencer Stuart.

    Executives can take steps to either extend their tenure or prepare for what’s next in their career. As part of that, they need to rethink their relationship with sponsors. At this stage in their career lifecycle they may not need sponsors to create new opportunities for them, but they do need advocates, supportive peers, and career role models. C-suite executives can move on to lead in other organizations or they may eventually retire and do board work. Others may find like-minded partners and investors to launch their own venture. I’ve worked with younger executives, as well, who accept global assignments or move down in the organization to gain new experience — they move down with a plan to move up again later in a different functional role. Regardless of their future plan, C-suite executives who surround themselves with support and have a clear vision of their future, are more likely continue to succeed.

    The capacity for reinvention is the single-most-important career attribute for executives today. Successful reinvention may look different for each of us, but if we do not attempt it, we are sure to fail.