Category: Blog

  • How To Improve Your Communication To Counter Uncertainty

    I use science—neuroscience, behavior change & lean communications—to help leaders thrive in our VUCA world. www.connectconsultinggroup.com

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    Change comes by choice. Or by force. 

    Take this year, which has taken us by force. More than likely, you’ve experienced disruptions in your life related to the extreme uncertainty swirling around us from the pandemic.

    While we humans may prefer predictability over uncertainty, we’re equipped both to navigate uncertainty and make changes by choice, thanks to our brain’s executive function. Plus, we naturally band together with other humans to collaborate to survive and thrive. As a result, we can counter the many surprising curves that uncertainty sends our way. 

    Our superpower is our ability to communicate with each other. We humans share our thoughts, concerns, wants and needs with each other and then discuss, question and decide what to do.  

    Yet herein lies a big problem — or opportunity, for us humans who prefer the positive. Even with this extreme uncertainty, many of us get stuck using old, sloppy communication habits.

    We still believe that others receive our messages as we intended them. As the famous playwright George Bernard Shaw observed more than 70 years ago, “The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.”

    Most of us pay so little attention to the fundamentals and nuances of how we send and receive messages that our communication is more likely to turn into miscommunication than clear, actionable messages. And worse, we tend to shirk any responsibility for the consequences of the poor communication.

    How many times during 2020 have you asked or heard someone say one of the following?: “Did you get ___?” “Are you sure you sent that to me?” “It’s not clear what am I supposed to do.”  

    How do we break these patterns so we reduce the ambiguity, friction and errors we experience and improve how we use our communication superpowers?

    Let’s commit to these five principles:   

    1. Recognize that communication is both a process and a goal. The goal is to reach a common understanding through a process of conveying and exchanging meanings. (Note that the words “common” and “communication” share the same root source.) If we don’t reach the goal, the meanings will be different, which produces the illusion, not the reality of communication taking place. 

    2. Make a deliberate and disciplined effort to reach our goals. We tend to take our communication ability for granted and fall short of achieving shared meaning and understanding.

    For example, when sending messages, we make too many assumptions, favor taking lazy shortcuts, and use the go-to communication channels we like best. For example, if we prefer email, we tend to send emails to everyone, even to those individuals who respond better to phone calls, texts, instant messaging or whatever. Oh, and do you sometimes use acronyms, assuming everyone knows their meaning?

    When receiving messages, we may not give them our full attention because we’re multitasking. Or even if we think we’re focused, we may be preoccupied with something else and therefore may not listen or read carefully or ask clarifying questions. Or, we may not have a foolproof system for tracking all the messages we receive and therefore let deadlines fall through the cracks.

    3. Show more respect when sending and receiving messages. Let’s rename the roles to emphasize the importance of each. If the “supplier” sends the message and the “customer” receives it, we may act more responsibly. For example, do you ever call your customer and hang up on them? Or when a supplier is providing a solution to your problem, do you stick your fingers in your ears? By adopting a customer-supplier metaphor, we might pay more careful attention to our communication and work smarter to reach a common understanding.

    4. Take time to map your process before you communicate. For instance, when you’re acting as the “supplier,” sketch out what you want your “customer” to do after receiving your communication. Think cause and effect.

    As a result, you’ll improve your ability to “see” what steps are needed to enlist others to help you get something done. This may be to provide an instruction, make a request, relay details or interpret information coming from someone else. (And don’t forget to include check-in steps to make sure everything is on track.)  

    Take into account how well you know the individuals (that is, your customers), what else they’re doing, where they are and how familiar they’ll be with what you’re asking them to do.

    Also, consider how all the different communication channels, such as email, text, online conferencing, phone calls, drawings, specifications, contracts and signs, affect your process. These channels help you make connections and convey information, but they cannot ensure shared understanding.

    By conceptualizing communication as a dynamic process rather than considering it a casual act, you’ll be better equipped to deal with all the uncertainty in the environment.

    5. Acknowledge that communication is a human process prone to messiness and joint responsibility. Even with these actions, communication is never going to be foolproof. We interpret messages based on our brains’ work, our backgrounds and our life experiences, which may not match the intended meaning. Everyone needs to consider communication as a joint responsibility, which reduces the chances of uncertainty derailing outcomes. Hopefully, you’ll notice your role in the process and stop blaming miscommunication on technology or other human beings.

    Communication is a type of dance, with back-and-forth dialogue that helps create a common understanding, and then commits to act. Done well, it can take us places we could never get to on our own.

    And by communicating more intentionally and deliberately, we can better cope with the adverse effects of uncertainty, as well as innovate better together. 


    Liz Guthridge

  • Could We Finally Have A Global Executive Coaching Standard?

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    Optimistic observers of executive coaching predict that in the next decade, after 70-plus years of unregulated disorganization, one set of competency standards could be established in training, credentialing and skill development for all practitioners. This would delight consumers who have only known a fragmented, buyer-beware market. 

    Imagine — finally — a set of global executive coaching requirements being agreed to. Could the major groups of practitioners who compete (e.g., business professionals, psychologists, credentialed coaches) shift gears and collaborate to set new, comprehensive qualifications? The potential benefits are tremendous. Let’s briefly consider why these three practitioner groups might collaborate.

    Business Professionals

    Executives and consultants continue to be the largest group to move into executive coaching. Not surprisingly, the top reason often cited in choosing executive coaches is business/consulting training and experience. This training (e.g., via MBA programs) and experience gives coaches credibility based on expertise in areas such as leadership, governance, strategy, finance, process improvement, technology and mergers and acquisitions.

    While competing with business professionals in executive coaching, psychologists readily acknowledge the value of business training. Dr. William Berman, a respected consulting psychologist and executive coach, emphasizes the critical role of this knowledge in working with C-suite executives and business founders. Another leading consulting psychologist and executive coach and developer of the trusted leadership advisor concept, Dr. Karol Wasylyshyn, strongly advocates for the value of business depth. Furthermore, psychology’s principal professional organization, the American Psychological Association, recommends that psychologists entering executive coaching have both business and psychological training and experience.

    Psychologists 

    Psychologists are a second significant source of executive coaches and, arguably, the most influential profession in developing coaching over its lifespan. Psychologist participation dates to the early years of coaching, and psychologists have been leading researchers, practitioners and educators in coaching. Psychologists have served as leaders of the International Coach Federation and have founded ICF-accredited training programs. The American Psychological Association offers postgraduate training in executive coaching. 

    Many coaches credit psychological knowledge as predating and setting the foundation for coaching competencies (e.g., establishing confidentiality, being fully present, active listening and multi-dimensional awareness). 

    Credentialed coaches (e.g., graduates of ICF-accredited programs) recognize psychology’s importance, as do business professionals. Research from a leading business organization, the American Management Association, makes multiple references to the historical and current value of psychology in coaching. 

    Credentialed Coaches

    Credentialed coaches are a fragmented community and a third source of executive coaches. One estimate is that more than 70 organizations (e.g., associations, consortiums, training programs) serve credentialed coaches so it is unlikely that this community could agree on a single set of professional standards. 

    However, an encouraging example of collaboration is an entity formed in 2013, the Global Coaching and Mentoring Alliance. GCMA members include three of the largest organizations supporting credentialed coaches: the International Coach Federation, the European Mentoring and Coaching Council and the Association for Coaching.

    Most competencies from the ICF, EMCC and AC are general and non-specific, applicable to any kind of coaching (life, career, etc.). Examples are active listening, powerful questioning, understanding self, enabling insight and learning and communicating effectively. As mentioned earlier, these competencies are rooted in psychology.

    By my calculations, less than 10% of competencies from these three organizations call for business knowledge and the skills associated with executive coaching, however.So, overall, GCMA competencies have limited value in setting executive coaching standards and would best be combined with competencies set by business professionals. 

    The potential for collaboration among business professionals, psychologists, and credentialed coaches is reasonable if not promising. If these three executive coaching groups could coordinate and integrate their competencies into a single, comprehensive set, executive coaching’s professional standing could improve markedly. 

    John Reed PhD, MBA, MCEC, PCC

    John Reed has multiple master coaching certifications, a Dartmouth MBA, and University of Georgia Ph.D. in organizational psychology. 

  • Leadership Practices for a Strong Start to the New Year

    Join us and experience the transformative effects of a ‘Virtual Triathlon’


    In this 75-minute workshop, Barbara Mintzer McMahon ‘Executive Coach and Mindfulness Expert’ will guide you through an experience to enhance engagement at all levels mind, body, and spirit. You will learn how to enhance your own well-being and the well-being and capacity of your team. Learn how these practices can maximize and sustain performance. This simple and most powerful experience can be used to:

    • Reduce stress
    • Enhance capacity for being fully present
    • Enable quality thinking and creativity
    • Build resilience
    • Enable quality connections to others

    In this time, Barbara will engage you in exercises to enhance quality thinking and will invite you to take time (30 minutes) to energize yourself by engaging in a physical activity of your choice. You will unplug and be able to engage your body – take a walk, run, dance, do yoga, whatever you choose. Then, we will come back together to learn how to channel this energy and advance our best thinking. The topics covered will focus on “What Now” and “What Next” as we step into the field of possibilities waiting for us in 2021.

  • Special Edition: Radically Human Resolutions

    Image credit: Unsplash

    The ripple of empathetic leadership that spread across organizations last year needs to become a tidal wave in 2021.

    Our mantra for the New Year—whether we lead a team of 5, 5,000 or 50,000—should be the relentless pursuit of providing opportunity, mentoring and sponsoring others. Opportunity is the gateway for each of us to discover our potential.

    We all know what the opposite feels like. When I was in fifth grade, my dad somehow managed to get me a second-hand snare drum, cymbals, drumsticks, and those cool wire drum brushes. Soon, I was playing along with the radio—R&B, rock, anything with a beat. A few weeks later, the school band held tryouts, and I couldn’t wait to show what I could do.

    The band director, though, had a different strategy. He just had everyone march around the gym. So there I was, an 11-year-old, stomping to some scratchy marching band record played over crackling loudspeakers—me and about a hundred other kids. After the tryout, I heard them call name after name—but not mine.

    Over the years I’ve reflected on that experience as an example of what not to do. Leadership is all about inspiring others to believe and enabling that belief to become reality. However, this requires a shift in mindset because, unfortunately, it’s simply not human nature for most people to focus first on developing others. Yet, indeed, that’s exactly what we need to do.

    Ken Blanchard, the leadership guru with whom I’ve had great discussions, often tells a story about his early days as a college professor. His approach was radical. On the first day of class, he gave his students the answers to the final exam. Ken often found himself in trouble with other faculty members, but he defended his decision by explaining his main job was to teach students the content they needed to learn—not to evaluate them along some distribution curve. It’s a concept Ken calls “Helping People Get an A.”

    Now contrast that with my daughter Emily’s experience in a class she took last semester. On the first day, the professor proudly announced, “Nobody gets an A in my class.” Having high standards is one thing, but to say that no one can excel is completely demotivating!

    We need a radically human approach to leadership and a set of leadership resolutions for 2021. Let’s commit to them heart, mind, and soul. Here are some thoughts:

    • It starts with you. Awareness awakens. Before we do anything else, we resolve to take a look in the mirror at our values, motivations, strengths, and blind spots. By knowing ourselves we can manage ourselves first, so we can positively impact others.
    • But it’s not about you. We’re not sculptors working alone in a studio, chipping marble or molding clay. We aren’t solo performers. We work with and through others. Quite simply, our success is measured in what others achieve.
    • Purpose. At some point, we need to stop trying to make sense of 2020. Instead, we need to create a sense of purpose for 2021—an overarching “why” that will take us out of the wilderness and into a new light—and a new beginning. Purpose always precedes the first step.
    • Empathy. Given all that people have gone through, empathy rules the day. It’s all about meeting others where they are, to understand their experience. We used to say, “How are you?”; now it’s “how are you feeling?” But that’s not all. The more empathetic we are, the more we broaden our view. We see beyond our own perspective—through the lens of others.
    • Empower. 2020 tripped the circuit breakers; 2021 is the big reset. Change must bubble up from within the organization, not merely cascade down—because the next two years we’ll see more change than we’ve seen in the last 10. To paint tomorrow, people throughout the organization must be empowered to think. I’ll never forget the advice I received from a board member many years ago, when I was a new CEO: “As the leader, don’t tell people what to do—instead, tell them what to think about.”
    • Collective genius. It’s been said that the strength of a team is each individual member—and the strength of each individual member is the team. When teams are inclusive, and differences are not just tolerated but celebrated, they become more creative and innovative—and collective genius is born. Let’s create an ethos of inclusiveness in the New Year.
    • Shepherd. I’ve met a number of military leaders who led during periods of conflict, and many confided in me, “I’ve never lost a soldier”—revealing a deep mindset of humility and accountability. While most of us won’t face such life-or-death scenarios, we also need to make sure we don’t lose anyone. Think shepherd: occasionally in front, sometimes beside, but mostly behind.
    • Own the moment. When most people think about accountability, they immediately think about how accountable others are to them. But first, we need to examine how accountable we are to ourselves—for who we are and how we act. If we want to know how we’re doing, we only need to count the number of times we say, “I’m sorry”—in all its forms, including “That’s on me,” “That was the wrong call,” and “You were right.” That’s how we truly own the moment.
    • Be the message. Throughout 2020, we just tried to help people get through—one day to the next—by seeing the blue sky through a tiny opening in the clouds. Now it’s time for the clouds to part—and for people to believe they can punch right through the sky. That comes from inspiration—and it’s best done with stories. As Peter Guber, the Academy Award–winning producer and co-owner of four professional sports teams, once told me, “Leadership is storytelling in a way that becomes memorable and actionable.” And the leader IS the message.

    In this New Year, may we stay resolute—to our resolutions. As radically human leaders, we enable others to exceed their potential and, in doing so, we all will collectively rise.


    Gary Burnison
    Korn Ferry CEO

  • Managing Your Mental Health While Working in the Midst of a Pandemic

    Image credit: Unsplash

    The COVID-19 pandemic has probably changed the way you work, whether you’ve gone back to the office or working from home. Fear and anxiety can be overwhelming, and workplace stress can lead to burnout. How you cope with these emotions and stress can affect your well-being and that of the people you care about, your workplace, and your community.

    In the midst of a pandemic, looking after your mental health while working is critical. A point previously highlighted by Adena Johnston is how it’s important to recognize the signs of stress, anxiety, and fatigue. Only then can you learn how to cope and manage your emotions and stress.

    Here are some effective ways to keep your mental health in check during the pandemic, especially if you’re working from home.

    Maintain a regular schedule

    Image credit: Unsplash

    Establish a routine and create a regular schedule every day. Choose a particular space in your home for your workday and make sure it’s kept free from distractions.

    You should also include periodic breaks in your schedule, as these are your mental breaks that would help in restoring energy. Take a moment to just breathe. The breathing exercises listed by Pain Free Working can come in handy for when you’re feeling stressed out. Try doing the Lion’s Breath, where you breathe in and out repeatedly for equal counts before inhaling deeply through the nose, then exhaling with your mouth wide open and tongue sticking out while making the sound “haaaaaaah.” Though it can feel a bit silly, repeat this sequence several times to release tension and improve your mood.

    Establish work boundaries

    When you’re working from home, make sure that you set and stay within your working hours, and keep them consistent. You may feel you’re working well when putting in more hours at home, but it can actually be detrimental to your well-being because you tend to experience burnout more. So, it’s important to identify your limitations and know how much you can extend yourself by setting healthy boundaries.

    Detach yourself from work

    Image credit: Unsplash

    Try setting up your work desk in a different room than in the one you usually spend your leisure time in. It’s recommended to avoid working in your bedroom to prevent forming associations between rest and work-related issues. This will ensure detachment when you go to sleep.

    Engage in psychological detachment also by consciously switching off from work commitments after working hours. And make sure there are no active work-related thoughts. It helps to set a schedule for your work notifications to turn off automatically once work time is over.

    Stay connected and keep talking

    Social distancing does not mean you also emotionally distance yourself from your loved ones. Engage in regular video calls and voice calls with friends, family, and colleagues. There are at least six free apps recommended by USA Today that help you stay connected in this difficult time of physical distancing.

    Share your daily experiences with them in a variety of social platforms where you can all express yourselves. This will strengthen your connections and relationships based on constant communication.

    Engage in positive distractions

    Image credit: Unsplash

    Reinvigorate your interest in hobbies and extracurricular activities that can be positive distractions from work. Engage in activities like playing outdoor games, physical exercise, cooking, baking, mindful meditation, painting, or spending time with your family or pets — basically anything you enjoy doing outside of work. You can also choose from a long list of fun (and free!) online activities compiled by Insider, including ways to travel even in your pajamas and in the comfort and safety of your home.

    In situations where you feel that you’re already struggling and the stress is hampering your daily functions, don’t hesitate to reach out to a trustworthy loved one or colleague, or consult an expert or mental health professional. By embracing good mental well-being practices, and relying on others when necessary, we can protect ourselves and those around us.

    Article written by Alice Amber
    Exclusively for acec.mgmcsolutions.com/

  • Creating Your Own Wisdom Journal

    Putting thoughts down in a journal is a useful leadership exercise. When doing so, it is important to include more than what is happening now but also what could go wrong.

    This kind of journaling is revealed with the publication of “The Godfather Notebook” that director Francis Ford Coppola kept while making this iconic film. As revealed in an interview with Terry Gross on NPR’s “Fresh Air,” Coppola used the notebook to record his thoughts on the meaning, intention and pitfalls of every scene.

    Film directors are leaders on the set. Good ones plan every scene in advance so that they can capture the spirit of the script on screen creatively as well as efficiently.

    Management is something like that. Executives are bombarded with many details at any given moment. They must focus with clarity on what is important so they can keep projects on task and on budget.

    Organize your thoughts in advance. It will prepare you to take action, be it talking to your team or finding additional resources.

    The challenge is to make time to think and document your thoughts as words, pictures or diagrams.

    Journaling will sharpen your thinking and, in turn, focus on your leadership on what’s most important.

    Contributed by:


    John Baldoni

  • The Importance Of Accelerating Physician-Leader Development

    Author: John Reed PhD, MBA, MCEC, PCC

    As management in the healthcare industry becomes more dynamic and challenging, the pattern of bringing physicians into leadership roles increases. Rationales for this are that physician-leaders have experience working with other clinicians and understand how teams, departments and organizations of medical providers operate. Their insights can help optimize operations and their credibility with fellow caregivers can drive change. 

    In 30 years of executive coaching and consulting in the healthcare and pharmaceutical sectors and as a founding fellow and contributing author of the Institute of Coaching at McLean/Harvard Medical School, I’ve seen how the impact of physician-leaders is better in some cases. However, in recent decades and now in the Covid-19 crisis, expected physician-leader benefits don’t always square with reality. Let’s briefly trace doctors’ progress in leadership roles. 

    Turn Of The Century

    Twenty years ago, many doctors had different thoughts and expectations when considering a leadership role. After years of contributing as a clinician, a career advancement step could be a role as a department head, associate vice president for medical affairs, chief medical officer, etc. Advantages were a more reasonable schedule, fewer clinical work hours, increased compensation and a prestigious title. Since the physician’s healthcare organization was probably stable financially, job stress wasn’t expected from market-based performance pressure, such as managing a tight budget, holding practitioners to relative value unit expectations, downsizing staff and executing a new strategy. Overall health service affordability was not considered a doctor’s responsibility. 

    Few doctors had leadership roles and those who did expected control and authority, working independently from colleagues in nursing, administration and other areas. Once in awhile there might have been challenging situations to face, but not often. Decision-making would usually be slower-paced, deliberate and unilateral. 

    Physicians’ training would not have included leadership skill-building. Abilities to confront difficult colleagues, build and lead a team, resolve conflict, develop reports, etc., would be absent. MBA and MHA programs were available then, but selection into leadership roles did not require formal, substantive management training. Administrative colleagues with skills in finance, accounting, IT, human resources, organizational development, etc., were on hand to delegate to. 

    Knowledge of the benefits of leadership skills for doctors was limited. For example, little evidence was available that hospitals with higher-rated management practices delivered better clinical outcomes, higher patient satisfaction and stronger financial performance.

    Recent Years

    What if anything has changed in 20 years? While many doctors in leadership roles still have little to no executive training and skills, there have been improvements. Physicians are increasingly paired with administrative colleagues in dyad leadership relationships. Occasionally, they are paired in triad relationships with administrative and nursing leaders. 

    Doctors succeeding in these relationships shift from autonomous, authoritative decision-making to a more emotionally intelligent shared leadership style. They and other key stakeholders collaborate to determine solutions and, more importantly, to accept responsibility for delivering them. Decision-making is still time-consuming but with greater participant buy-in. 

    The perspective of physician-leaders is maturing. They choose MBA or MHA training to engage more credibly as executives. They are less likely to expect leadership roles to be ceremonial and lightweight. As their business environment gets more volatile, uncertain, complex and ambiguous — a situation often referred to as VUCA — they grasp the inescapable reality that leadership entails hard choices and actions and accountability for measurable results. 

    In addition to business training in marketing, finance, operations, strategy, organizational development, etc., more doctors recognize the need for relationship skills, including: 

    • Emotional intelligence: Track/manage your and others’ emotions to work with and lead others; empathy and respectfulness are critical while intellectual superiority is not.

    • Self-awareness: Clarify strengths to use and weaknesses to address, to appreciate how others experience you — and adjust.

    • Conflict management: Become skilled with tools and techniques to resolve differences between individuals and teams.

    • Decision-making: Effectively evaluate challenges and develop and choose the best solution.

    • Influence: Without formal authority, motivate and move others along by appealing to their interests, priorities, etc.

    • Integrity: Trust is a leadership fundamental, earned over time and potentially lost quickly.

    • Humility: Widely useful, this is especially valuable in leading difficult people and situations to solve problems.

    Covid-19 Crisis

    The Covid-19 challenge overwhelms even the most skilled and experienced executive leaders, whether they are physicians or not. It demands navigating VUCA conditions at top speed — shifting constantly and deciding in an instant with limited data — to be agile and adaptive. 

    In more normal conditions, doctors could continue to learn and improve gradually as leaders. There would be opportunities for moderately-paced, scientifically-based, information-rich decision-making reminiscent of their clinical training years. 

    The unprecedented demands of Covid-19 can accelerate growth in some physician-leaders but more typically spotlight skill gaps and unrealistic expectations. Faced with hyper-stressful pressure for leadership performance, some doctors revert to what is comfortable and familiar. That is, gather with fellow doctors and, while formally in dyad and triad relationships, avoid the inevitable, difficult and unpopular decisions required to lead through crises. 

    As financial conditions worsen, funds for graduate business training for physicians dwindle when they are most needed. Perhaps more cost-effective options — mentoring, counseling, and coaching, for instance — could help doctors gain leadership impact. These options are best for building basic skills found in strong leaders and vital for physicians in a pandemic. Examples of these fundamentals are setting and communicating quality standards, insisting on accountability, changing suboptimal practices, and rewarding and confronting performance as needed.

    
John Reed PhD, MBA, MCEC, PCC

John Reed has multiple master coaching certifications, a Dartmouth MBA, a University of Georgia PhD and psychologist licensure.

    John Reed PhD, MBA, MCEC, PCC

    John Reed has multiple master coaching certifications, a Dartmouth MBA, a University of Georgia Ph.D., and a psychologist license.

  • Lead with Empathy

    Contributor: John Baldoni

    Deposit Photos

    Empathy has become the buzzword of 2020.

    And that’s too bad because too often, buzzwords fall into disuse. We need empathy now more than ever.

    Empathy is the capacity to feel for someone else, to feel compassion for what they are experiencing. As our nation is riven by the twin viruses of Covid-19 and systemic racism, and the resulting economic fallout, people in need, or people in general, want to know that someone cares.

    When we see images of people who have suffered or are caring for those suffering, we feel sympathy. We are in synchronicity with their loss. That is fine, but it’s not empathy. Empathy, as classically defined in Webster’s Dictionary, is “the ability to share in another’s emotions, thoughts or feelings.”

    Leaders can be empathetic, but feeling empathy is not enough. Acting with empathy is what’s necessary. “The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths,” wrote the Swiss psychiatrist Elizabeth Kubler-Ross. “These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen.”

    Acting with empathy

    Being and doing are different things. Here are some tips for acting on empathy.

    Listen intently. While sympathy is an inclination to experience another’s pain, empathy is the willingness to act. You can only act if you know what the issue is. That comes from listening. Focus on the other person. Have a conversation.

    Anticipate the need. Acting on empathy means not waiting to be asked. Sense the need and fulfill it. Don’t ask if someone is hungry. Bring them a meal. Don’t ask if they need a job. Help them find one. Don’t ask people if they feel sad. Find a moment of joy for them.

    Follow up. People with genuine empathy follow up to see how those in need are doing. Sometimes all a person needs is a shoulder to lean on for support. Other times it is a blueprint for survival with assistance along the way. Checking in on people keeps you in touch. It also gives the individual being helped the opportunity to say thank you. Being grateful opens the door for them to maintain their dignity. And even more, it reminds them of their self-worth. 

    Leo Buscaglia, popular author, speaker and university professor, wrote, “Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.” 

    Empathy is generative. That is, the more we give, the more we get in return. We feel good about helping others and, in turn, feel the energy from that. Empathy is the capacity to care and act on that caring.

    John Baldoni
    Master Corporate Executive Coach
    Member of Marshall Goldsmith 100 Coaches
    www.johnbaldoni.com

  • Masculinity Isn’t A Sickness

    Contributor: Jordan Goldrich

    Episode 22

    About Erica Komisar: is a licensed clinical social worker, psychoanalyst, and parent guidance expert who has been in private practice in New York City for over 30 years. She’s a graduate of Georgetown and Columbia Universities and the New York Freudian Society. Erica is a contributor to the Wall Street Journal, The Washington Post, and The New York Daily News. She is the author of a book called Being There: Why Prioritizing Motherhood in the First Three Years Matters and she is currently finishing a second book on the topic of raising resilient emotionally secure adolescence in an age of anxiety.

    WORKPLACE WARRIOR®
    022 Erica Komisar: Masculinity Isn’t an Illness

    In this episode, Jordan and Dennis discuss:

    • Scientific research on how gender differences impact leadership and parenting
    • The impact of the political trend to neutralize differences between genders
    • The importance of balance between aggression and nurturing for leadership
    • Liberal, mainstream and conservative media ignore science when it conflicts with politics

    Key Takeaways:

    • Women leaders need to express more of their aggression and men more of their nurturance.
    • Healthy aggression is channeled into ambition, competition, self-reliance, protective vigilance, and other traits needed for successful leadership.
    • Oxytocin and testosterone are expressed differently in women and men
    • Proof that motherhood and nurturing are not valued in this country is that there is not an emphasis on paid maternity leave.

    “The first three years of being emotionally and physically available to your baby lay down the foundation for that child’s emotional security for life.”— Erica Komisar

    Your host, Jordan Goldrich, grew up in a loud New York family and once lost an executive position because of his style. He is co-author of the Amazon Best Seller, Workplace Warrior®: People Skills For The No-Bulls**t Executive, Chief Operations Officer, Master Corporate Executive Coach, and Licensed Clinical Social Worker. His guests are part of his international network of Workplace Warrior® executives, master corporate executive coaches, and thought leaders. Each guest will engage you in conversation about their successes, mistakes, and solutions. You will get strategies for being completely authentic, while you fulfill your commitment to your organization, build positive relationships, and take performance to an even higher level.

    Connect with Jordan Goldrich: 

    Website: workplacewarriorinc.com
    Twitter: twitter.com/jordangoldrich1
    LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/jgoldrich

  • Three Reasons to Invest in Reflective Practice, aka Supervision


    Ken Giglio Principal at Mindful Leadership Consulting

    “Without reflection, we go blindly on our way, creating more unintended consequences and failing to achieve anything useful.”

    As an executive coach, I am consistent in asking clients “What have you been reflecting on?” and “What have you learned and changed as a result?” What I often get back is “I haven’t had much time to reflect lately.”

    It’s understandable that executives are pressed for time, especially as we all live through the Covid pandemic, racial justice challenges, and an economic recession. Yet without reflection, leaders, and all of us, miss turning experiences into learning opportunities we can use to change future outcomes. Investing in a reflective practice isn’t “nice to have,” it’s the ground from which effective leadership grows. As the organizational consultant Margaret Wheatly notes, “Without reflection, we go blindly on our way, creating more unintended consequences and failing to achieve anything useful.”

    What is reflective practice?

    Here is an adapted definition from Donald Schon’s book, The Reflective Practitioner: How Professionals Think in Action.

    Reflective practice is critical and deliberate inquiry into professional practice in order to gain a deeper understanding of oneself, others, systems, and the meaning that is shared among individuals. This can happen during practice/work (mindful in action) and after the fact (on action) and can be done alone or with others.

    We reflect to learn from experience; we learn to adapt and change for the betterment of ourselves, others, and organizations. 

    As executives need to reflect more and react less to meet the challenges of these times, so, too, do the coaches who support them. As coaches (I use the term broadly to include internal coaches, HRBPs, and external coaches), we need to polish our own mirror to be “fit for practice,” in our work with leaders and their organizations. 

    Supervision has become the key vehicle for reflective practice for coaching professionals. Here are the three reasons to invest in a reflective practice (one-on-one or in groups), which are also historically called the “functions” of supervision. 

    1. Supportive – coach well-being and resilience building
    2. Developmental – coach competence and capacity building 
    3. Qualitative – coach quality control, including contracting and ethics

    Supportive

    In general, and especially in our current challenging environment, it’s emotional support that a coach needs most from reflective practice. In a group supervision session I led earlier this year, one coach presented a challenging client case. As the group and I listened, the coach expressed doubts about their approach; the coach questioned if they were “good enough” for this client. On top of that, the coach was also fatigued from their home-schooling role as a parent. Feelings of being depleted and overwhelmed due to Covid stressors were overshadowing the coaching work. The supervision dialogue and reflection shifted to support the coach’s present experience, with the group providing empathy, understanding, and emotional support. The group acknowledged and normalized the coach’s experience, as we were all feeling exhausted to some extent with all that 2020 has thrown our way. To better engage with their clients, the coach needed to devote more attention to their well-being, so they could tap and reinforce a resilient mindset and behaviors. The coach become aware that they needed to practice self-compassion to mitigate their self-judgment. They ended with “I am a good enough and also tired coach.”

    A coach’s well-being and resilience is the ground from which all good work happens, because well-being leads to well-doing. 

    Developmental 

    Generally, coaches know their learning isn’t done when they graduate from a coach training program. We know that to develop our coaching competence and capacity requires practice and continuous learning. As we reflect on coaching cases in supervision, we follow the advice of the poet Walt Whitman, to “be curious and not judgmental.” One area I’m always curious about in my coaching practice, and the practices of my supervisees, is the influence of our self-stories. These stories, or scripts, originate in our childhood, and we all carry them forward in our coaching work in different ways. As an example, one coach realized they were enacting parental behaviors with a client by being overly protective, unconsciously treating the client like a child. A supervision conversation helped the coach stay aware of keeping the coaching conversations adult to adult and to begin to unlearn their parent/child relational pattern with clients. Reflection helps us become more conscious in the moment, so we can steer clear of our conditioned patterns from our past.

    A coach’s commitment to their continuous learning keeps them on a developmental edge, always deepening and widening their competence and capacity and unlocking potential. 

    Qualitative

    The integrity of our coaching work depends on delivering the highest quality coaching to our clients and organizations. Quality control is essential and encompasses how we contract with clients and organizations, and how we establish professional boundaries as well as ethical standards. In one of my supervision cases, an internal coach/HR Business Partner was struggling to navigate the escalating tensions between the SVP they support and another SVP. The other SVP was supported by a colleague my supervisee found to be “difficult.” It can become complicated as internal coaches are always working within a system they are a part of. In our supervision conversation, we explored the initial contracting and reflected together on when to know to push back and challenge the executives they supported and when to let go. We also looked at how the tensions between the SVPs might be paralleled, or playing out, between the HRB’s and its impact on their coaching work. Supervision research suggests that supervisors find half of the issues brought to them by coaches are related to original contracting, and this case supported the findings. In the end, the insight from reflective practice was to revisit the original contracting with the SVPs and HBP colleague and recontract and restructure the coaching work accordingly.

    A coach’s attention to the quality of their work benefits everyone in the system as it holds the coaching to the highest standards and helps ensure coaching goals are achieved.

    As the coaching field grows, so does the need for mindful reflective practice, aka supervision. Leaders aren’t reflecting enough, especially during these trying times. They are not learning at the pace they need to so they can keep up with the changes in the business environment. It’s our job as coaches to model a reflective approach. The emerging research shows that coaches who attend to their well-being, continuously develop their competence and capacity, and focus on quality control are the coaches most fit for purpose.


    Ken Giglio Principal at Mindful Leadership Consulting

    www.mindful-leaders.com