Tag: business coaching

  • What Great Listeners Actually Do

    Good listening is much more than being silent while the other person talks.

    Chances are you think you’re a good listener. People’s appraisal of their listening ability is much like their assessment of their driving skills, in that the great bulk of adults think they’re above average.

    In our experience, most people think good listening comes down to doing three things:

    • Not talking when others are speaking
    • Letting others know you’re listening through facial expressions and verbal sounds (“Mmm-hmm”)
    • Being able to repeat what others have said, practically word-for-word

    In fact, much management advice on listening suggests doing these very things – encouraging listeners to remain quiet, nod and “mm-hmm” encouragingly, and then repeat back to the talker something like, “So, let me make sure I understand. What you’re saying is…” However, recent research that we conducted suggests that these behaviors fall far short of describing good listening skills.

    We analyzed data describing the behavior of 3,492 participants in a development program designed to help managers become better coaches. As part of this program, their coaching skills were assessed by others in 360-degree assessments. We identified those who were perceived as being the most effective listeners (the top 5%). We then compared the best listeners to the average of all other people in the data set and identified the 20 items showing the largest significant difference. With those results in hand we identified the differences between great and average listeners and analyzed the data to determine what characteristics their colleagues identified as the behaviors that made them outstanding listeners.

    We found some surprising conclusions, along with some qualities we expected to hear. We grouped them into four main findings:

    • Good listening is much more than being silent while the other person talks. To the contrary, people perceive the best listeners to be those who periodically ask questions that promote discovery and insight. These questions gently challenge old assumptions, but do so in a constructive way. Sitting there silently nodding does not provide sure evidence that a person is listening, but asking a good question tells the speaker the listener has not only heard what was said, but that they comprehended it well enough to want additional information. Good listening was consistently seen as a two-way dialog, rather than a one-way “speaker versus hearer” interaction. The best conversations were active.
    • Good listening included interactions that build a person’s self-esteem. The best listeners made the conversation a positive experience for the other party, which doesn’t happen when the listener is passive (or, for that matter, critical!). Good listeners made the other person feel supported and conveyed confidence in them. Good listening was characterized by the creation of a safe environment in which issues and differences could be discussed openly.
    • Good listening was seen as a cooperative conversation. In these interactions, feedback flowed smoothly in both directions with neither party becoming defensive about comments the other made. By contrast, poor listeners were seen as competitive — as listening only to identify errors in reasoning or logic, using their silence as a chance to prepare their next response. That might make you an excellent debater, but it doesn’t make you a good listener. Good listeners may challenge assumptions and disagree, but the person being listened to feels the listener is trying to help, not wanting to win an argument.
    • Good listeners tended to make suggestions. Good listening invariably included some feedback provided in a way others would accept and that opened up alternative paths to consider. This finding somewhat surprised us, since it’s not uncommon to hear complaints that “So-and-so didn’t listen, he just jumped in and tried to solve the problem.” Perhaps what the data is telling us is that making suggestions is not itself the problem; it may be the skill with which those suggestions are made. Another possibility is that we’re more likely to accept suggestions from people we already think are good listeners. (Someone who is silent for the whole conversation and then jumps in with a suggestion may not be seen as credible. Someone who seems combative or critical and then tries to give advice may not be seen as trustworthy.)

    While many of us have thought of being a good listener being like a sponge that accurately absorbs what the other person is saying, instead, what these findings show is that good listeners are like trampolines. They are someone you can bounce ideas off of — and rather than absorbing your ideas and energy, they amplify, energize, and clarify your thinking. They make you feel better not merely passively absorbing, but by actively supporting. This lets you gain energy and height, just like someone jumping on a trampoline.

    Of course, there are different levels of listening. Not every conversation requires the highest levels of listening, but many conversations would benefit from greater focus and listening skill. Consider which level of listening you’d like to aim for:

    Level 1: The listener creates a safe environment in which difficult, complex, or emotional issues can be discussed.

    Level 2: The listener clears away distractions like phones and laptops, focusing attention on the other person and making appropriate eye-contact. (This behavior not only affects how you are perceived as the listener; it immediately influences the listener’s own attitudes and inner feelings. Acting the part changes how you feel inside. This in turn makes you a better listener.)

    Level 3: The listener seeks to understand the substance of what the other person is saying. They capture ideas, ask questions, and restate issues to confirm that their understanding is correct.

    Level 4: The listener observes nonbverbal cues, such as facial expressions, perspiration, respiration rates, gestures, posture, and numerous other subtle body language signals. It is estimated that 80% of what we communicate comes from these signals. It sounds strange to some, but you listen with your eyes as well as your ears.

    Level 5: The listener increasingly understands the other person’s emotions and feelings about the topic at hand, and identifies and acknowledges them. The listener empathizes with and validates those feelings in a supportive, nonjudgmental way.

    Level 6: The listener asks questions that clarify assumptions the other person holds and helps the other person to see the issue in a new light. This could include the listener injecting some thoughts and ideas about the topic that could be useful to the other person. However, good listeners never highjack the conversation so that they or their issues become the subject of the discussion.

    Each of the levels builds on the others; thus, if you’ve been criticized (for example) for offering solutions rather than listening, it may mean you need to attend to some of the other levels (such as clearing away distractions or empathizing) before your proffered suggestions can be appreciated.

    We suspect that in being a good listener, most of us are more likely to stop short rather than go too far. Our hope is that this research will help by providing a new perspective on listening. We hope those who labor under an illusion of superiority about their listening skills will see where they really stand. We also hope the common perception that good listening is mainly about acting like an absorbent sponge will wane. Finally, we hope all will see that the highest and best form of listening comes in playing the same role for the other person that a trampoline plays for a child. It gives energy, acceleration, height and amplification. These are the hallmarks of great listening.

    Authors: Jack Zenger and Joseph Folkman

    Original Content Published by Harvard Business Review

  • Evolving Forward: The Indivisible System

    How systems thinking, focused intention and trust are essential for our future

    Meatpacking plants are a microcosm of what we are all experiencing right now—the indivisible system. As the contextual environment more aggressively imposes itself into our everyday world, the resources we used to call upon, while necessary, are insufficient to get us through this real crisis. The leaders at meatpacking plants must operate on all cylinders and become agile sense-makers of their environment to address the needs of their workforce, the needs of the communities they operate in, and the needs of the world’s food supply. This is not the time to think about themselves, their professional development or their personal assessment results. They are in chaos and complexity, and the leadership strategies previously applied will no longer work. There is no going back, there is only evolving forward.

    “The concept of emotional intelligence (EI) is a 101 course for leadership right now.” This spot-on statement was made this past week at CCI Consulting’s monthly virtual Executive Coach Café— something that has been taking place for much longer than the pandemic. We were, like so many others in the industry, discussing coaching strategies that are particularly important to help leaders right now; some of whom are dealing with bottom-line crises resulting in their businesses precariously perched on the brink of insolvency. Other leaders are navigating the needs of virtual staff and the mechanics of returning to a face-to-face office environment while simultaneously adjusting to the legal issues involved with protecting their employees. Whatever the particular situation, the workforce is in dire need of help and support.

    But the statement made about Emotional Intelligence, or EI or EQ, has never rung truer than it does today because EI is not new. Most leaders already know about the 1995 book, “Emotional Intelligence,” by Daniel Goleman even if they haven’t read it or put its guidance into practice. Some are even aware of the 1990 John Mayer and Peter Salovey article that first used the term emotional intelligence, or the seminal work of Howard Gardner and Reuven Bar-On in the 1980s that dug into multiple intelligences and the psychological well-being and drivers of success outside of IQ and academic or hard-skill proficiencies.

    One does not turn on the EI switch and suddenly develop the capacity to marry self-awareness and the awareness of others any more than after one reads a book or listens to a TED talk and suddenly becomes attuned to the needs of psychological safety, authenticity or courage. All of these concepts require leaders—and all of us for that matter—to zero in on the foundation that allows these concepts to turn into everyday actions that move the needle on interpersonal effectiveness and leadership strength.

    Our society needs interpersonal effectiveness and leadership strength now more than ever. But, more important than that, we need to shift our perspective to the indivisible system we live in. To do that, we need to turn up the volume on the foundational skills of systems thinking, focused intention and trust.

    Consider these scenarios:

    Pre-pandemic: The office reception area was always sparkling, but the building scheduled individual offices and cubicles to be cleaned on a bi-monthly basis.

    Upon reopening: Your direct report walks into the office environment and wonders privately if the building manager allocated the proper resources to procure the ethanol or cleaning solutions necessary to disinfect their cubicle space or thinks that perhaps they diluted materials in favor of cost savings. They say nothing because at least they still have a job.

    Pre-pandemic: Your Asian American lab manager received an award for facilitating a successful clinical trial.

    Upon reopening: On her way to work, your Asian American lab manager was harassed and called names for bringing the novel coronavirus to America. When she came into the office, she said nothing and moved quietly to her workstation wondering if anyone at work felt the same way.

    Pre-pandemic: A key member of the senior leadership team launched a new initiative, setting the stage to acquire a competitor.

    Upon reopening: With schools still closed and summer camp postponed, that same key member was distracted by family concerns and schedules, as well as figuring out coverage for staff, and the acquisition opportunity was not only missed but they experienced a hostile takeover.

    If we peel back the surface…if we move deeper than the mechanical needs of Personal Protective Equipment (PPE), social distancing, work schedules and remote technology, we will see that these things are simply tools. And who uses the tools? People. It is the experience of people that matter more right now than ever before.

    The three foundational concepts that can help to move all of us forward require strategies that involve:

    Systems Thinking – None of us likes to think of ourselves as living in a bubble and now, more than ever, we see how siloed thinking causes unnecessary conflicts and contributes to misinformation and delayed decision-making. Systems thinking is not new, but its perspective is enjoying a resurgence. People everywhere are noticing its value when addressing complexity and the VUCA environment. As we move through the current pandemic, it is critical to call on a systems perspective to help organizations and people adapt to change. Russell Ackoff defined a system as, “a whole, which cannot be divided into independent parts…the essential properties of any system, the properties that define a system, are properties of the whole which none of its parts have.” When adopting a systems mindset, we see that our internal or operating environment (yes, our bubble or our organization) exists within a transactional or stakeholder environment where we act and interact with those around us, beyond which exists in our contextual or global environment.

    To be a true systems thinker requires consideration that the changes taking place in this contextual environment place pressures that cause changes in behavior of the stakeholders in the transactional environment. And, as changes in the transactional environment take place, they naturally place pressures on the internal and operational environment of the organization.

    Ah…the pandemic. But not just the pandemic.

    Change is not linear, and we are seeing in real time that what we are experiencing around the globe requires us to address the contextual environment of the pandemic and the economy but, more importantly, the changes we need to make FOR people. Leaders must accelerate considerations for how technology and digital productivity can enhance and not replace workers. Leaders must address shifting ways of generating business value through agility, innovation and new customer strategies. And how about where our employees come from? Entire categories of people are impacted when geopolitical and economic powers shift, but more so when the well-being of people and purpose of work dramatically change.

    Re-envisioning work as opposed to returning “back” to the way things once were is the new mission- critical competency leaders must embrace now.

    Focused Intention – The game has changed and our global existence has come into sharp focus because we now understand that even if we work hard, develop ourselves to be at our best, provide opportunities for others, and focus on our mission and values, there are still things we cannot control. The word intention often brings to mind a goal or target, such as we find when we have good intentions. However, our good intentions don’t always have the intended impact with either people or outcomes. There has never been a better time to take a step back and think about the kind of person you want to be…how you want to show up as a leader, friend, colleague, parent and citizen. Then, if you are honest with yourself and solicit feedback from others, is this the person you are today? Is there a gap you can fill?

    There are those who choose activities that quiet the mind or activate the soul. Whatever you choose is not really at issue. What is at issue is that you place focused attention on your intentions and exercise behaviors that support them, reflect on how you did, and adjust where needed. Hopefully, your intentions are supportive to those around you.

    Trust – At the core of everything is trusting the “other” person, but also ensuring they trust you. Without trust, we cannot communicate; without communication, there is no trust. If we choose to widen our perspective and allow greater transparency in the system, we must open ourselves up to the ideas of others and fill the gaps of understanding to make sense of our global system. During times of uncertainty and fear, people need to feel grounded that their leaders and organization are reliable and have one another’s back. Recognizing our own assumptions and biases are a good start here. Are we making assumptions that those around us are not interested in remaining healthy and alive? Are others making the right assumptions about us? In a way, it is the same as wearing masks right now: I wear a mask because I care about you and want you to wear one as an expression of how much you care about me.

    Begin by treating everyone—and I mean everyone—with complete positive regard. And, if you can’t, ask yourself how to approach the other with curiosity and kindness. Learn how they are experiencing everything right now. Learn how they are struggling and laughing and tell them about how you are experiencing things right now. Together, and through courageous and caring conversations, it will be easier to build an environment where people reconnect with one another after we reduce our distance, where we all begin to challenge our own limiting beliefs, and where we can co-create whatever our future has in store.

    There are many important leadership tools out there, but without thinking in systems, intention and trust, everything else falls flat. Together we lead.

    Author: Adena Johnston, D. Mgt. MCEC Vice President and Practice Leader, Talent Development

  • Four Strategic Priorities for the Post-COVID-19 World

    To build resilience going forward, the first question to answer is not, “What’s in it for me?” but “What if?”

    By now, everyone knows that the shattering impact of COVID-19 has brought on a business crisis without precedent in recent memory. On one level, though, the pandemic represents nothing new. For years, we have been hearing and talking about the impending “VUCA” (volatility, uncertainty, complexity and ambiguity) world. Over and over again, we were told to prepare for seismic change that was sure to arrive, to boost agility in anticipation of abrupt, profound disruption. COVID-19 was a misfortune long foreseen; only the dates and other specific details were missing.

    Regardless, the pandemic will fundamentally reshape how we do business from now on. Even if lockdowns end soon and the virus is staunchly suppressed never to return, its effect will linger. Now that the whole world has experienced the VUCA that only emerging markets used to face, it can never again be treated as an abstraction.

    So when business leaders share with me how their business strategies will likely change in the post-virus period, many say they’ll continue with initiatives they’ve already started, such as digitalisation or social responsibility, but faster and with higher intensity. I have to point out to them that this might not be enough. Some of their key strategic priorities will have to be modified in a radical way.

    To start, the basic purpose of business strategy is to steer companies towards sustainable sources of growth and profit. There are many tried-and-true frameworks for guiding strategy, e.g. Michael Porter’s five forces, which allows firms to orient their competitive position according to coordinates of threat and power. For decades, this classic way of thinking has provided a useful lens for analysing strategic moves of players within an industry. It no doubt remains relevant today. However, Porter’s neat chessboard does not account for whipping winds (think pandemics, political revolutions, climate change events such as the Australian bushfires) that may kick up suddenly and blow away the pieces. Anticipating the disruptive events that live outside Porter’s framework will be a major part of business strategy going forward.

    I see four new priorities that strategists will need to put on their radar for the years to come.

    1. Aim for survivability and resilience before economic efficiency

    It would seem meaningless to talk about an efficient dead organisation. In the post-COVID-19 world, contingency planning should be built into every link of the value chain to ensure survival. Instead of structuring partnerships on the basis of leverage and getting the better end of the deal whenever possible, firms will have to be much more strategic in choosing which alliances are essential, and which are transactional. Rather than “What’s in it for me?”, the first question ought to be “What if?” It may be necessary to forego some of the most lucrative partnerships in favour of those that can withstand a missed shipment or delayed payment here or there when fate intervenes.

    To increase reliability, therefore, redundancy will trump efficiency with regard to critical resources. Investing too much in one partner, supplier or market can be as bad an idea as betting your life savings on one horse. For example, many major multinationals may be regretting their decision to rely so heavily on China as the pandemic exposes fissures in the nation’s prosperous façade. Apple and Foxconn’s joined-at-the-hip relationship is causing trouble for both companies, amid a vicious cycle of COVID-19 factory shutdowns and declining demand for premium smartphones. The uncertainty will only intensify as the rivalry between the US and China continues to escalate. (More about politics below.)

    IKEA is an example of how a major company can balance long-term loyalty with diversification in the supply chain. The company deliberately maintains a large number of moderate-size suppliers worldwide, helping them improve production quality. It engages in nurturing, long-term relationships rather than squeezing every last cent.

    2. Quantify and plan for ecological and environmental threats rather than just describe them

    Today, many executives and analysts talk about various types of threats in a descriptive way, with very little in-depth forethought about how to deal with them should they arise. The good old concept of scenario planning is still with us, but very few businesses seem to practise it in a systematic and thorough way. Moreover, conventional risk assessment typically omits threats with no known probability distribution function, such as environmental devastation and sudden increases in refugee flows. And today’s businesses, already overwhelmed with “clear and present” business challenges, are hard-pressed to devote attention to what they consider low-probability events.

    But recent history shows that extreme upheavals are far from rare. In the last century, the world has experienced at least five dangerous virus attacks, from the pandemic of 1918 that infected about one-third of the global population to COVID-19 in the present. There were also at least two devastating nuclear reactor meltdowns, two world wars and several near-misses, numerous earthquakes and tsunamis, countless regional armed conflicts that threatened supply of essential goods. Climate change, overpopulation and rising worldwide inequality have only increased the likelihood of these threats occurring again in the future.

    Businesses should thus dedicate more resources to quantify various types of threats although there is no broad consensus on the best way to do this. The main goal is not to be accurate, but to train the organisation to plan for various “unimaginable” events. What does not get measured does not get done, as many business executives often claim. Thus, deep qualitative analysis and scenario planning should be complemented with a number of computer-assisted algorithms providing data and various simulation models. Leaders will have to learn their way around AI and machine-learning tools – such as heat mapping algorithms that can quantify political risks based on social-media sentiment analysis – in the course of strategic decision making.

    3. Build a strong organisational immune system rather than maximise short-term profits

    When it comes to measuring and anticipating threats, technology is an important part of the package, but it can’t overcome a deep-seated antipathy to hard truths. In the business world to come, advantage will belong to firms that convey bad news upwards quickly rather than flinching from it.

    Companies that can spot problems when they look small, learn from them and build preventive measures rapidly possess what I would call a strong organisational immune system. Just as our white blood cells identify and destroy invader cells early before they wreak havoc in our bodies, companies need long, sensitive feelers and hyper-responsive capability at all levels of the organisation to stay in the pink of health.

    The downfall of Nokia’s smartphone business is a perfect example of how immune-compromised organisations collapse from within. Well before the iPhone came along, a “culture of fear” had set in at the Finnish firm. Senior and middle managers had developed a poisonous habit of sugarcoating and avoiding the serious problems with their devices and proprietary OS. Nokia had ample time and resources to develop a competitive response to the iPhone, but those advantages were squandered as toxic internal politics left management spinning its wheels.

    It should be said that some top managers believe that using fear will lead to higher economic performance by reducing organisational complacency and inertia. This might have worked reasonably well in a fully controllable and predictable environment in which it is impossible for people to report good news only and hide bad news as long as they can. In today’s volatile context, however, it will result in priceless early warning signs going unheeded.

    According to some observers, a Nokia-like scenario may have been behind China’s delayed response to COVID-19, stemming from long-standing misalignment between the central Communist Party authorities in Beijing and local officials, who knew of the virus in its early stages but lacked incentive to report it quickly. The result – massive human and economic harm – speaks to the high costs of complacency in this new world. Under the revived Nokia, the new board sought to build an organisational culture based on the following motto: “No news is bad news; bad news is good news; good news is no news.”

    4. Integrate government politics rather than focusing only on business economics

    Globalisation had a good run. The notion that the world is flat – unencumbered travels, international business deals, outsourcing to the lowest-cost countries, trade deals, etc. – had few high-powered detractors for several decades leading up to the 2008 financial crisis. Ever since the advent of Brexit and the Trump presidency, however, the idea of business without borders has been on the retreat. As I write this, international air travel is all but frozen entirely, and global supply chains have been chopped to bits. Nation-states, already making a comeback before COVID-19, will likely increase their leverage over multinational businesses in the months and years to come.

    Beyond national security, firms in sectors deemed “essential” to national public welfare – covering a wide range of sectors from food to medical supply, machinery and electronics equipment, transportation and energy – will be the first to feel the pressure to localise. Governments have learned the hard way that it can be dangerous to depend on foreign trade for items that make or break crisis response, such as the reactive agents that are key to COVID-19 testing or even low-tech medical gowns and face masks. They will be keen to maintain or rebuild these precious supply chains on their own soil. This could carry significant implications for businesses that seek overseas expansion. Firms should expect even more severe and close governmental scrutiny and rejection of their proposed joint ventures, mergers and acquisitions, R&D collaborations, even in non-defence related sectors.

    This seeming adversity could create big opportunity for some firms that integrate government politics into their business strategies. For one, homegrown innovation capability will be valued by national governments and benefit from higher economic and regulatory support. Additionally, rising patriotism – creating “good” jobs for your own people – could benefit these firms in their own countries, much like Alibaba and Tencent and Baidu have profited in part from relatively low foreign competition in China.

    What’s bigger than Big Business?

    You may have already noticed some interrelationships between these four priorities. Indeed, in the post-COVID-19 world, these four levers typically operate in combination, rather than in isolation.

    Broadly speaking, strategy after COVID-19 will be less about beating your economic competitors, and more about how businesses can contribute to combating a larger, shared enemy, like climate change, pandemics or perhaps socio-political woes such as inequality. There’s nothing new about this. The US in World War II, for example, saw tremendous cooperative effort between businesses, as well as between the private and public sectors. The COVID-19 “new normal” may actually be a return to an older equilibrium between business and society, and wide stakeholder collaboration.

    It will hopefully serve as a meaningful wake-up call for societies and businesses to take bold, radical actions that could propel humanity to a superior quality of life.

    Author: Quy Nguyen Huy is the Solvay Chaired Professor of Technological Innovation and a Professor of Strategic Management at INSEAD. He is also a director of the Strategy Execution Programme, part of INSEAD’s suite of Executive Education programmes.

    Acknowledgment: I am grateful for feedback from INSEAD Knowledge managing editor Benjamin Kessler, as well as strategy professors Guoli Chen, Felipe Monteiro, Daniel Simonovich, Phebo Wibbens and Christoph Zott.

  • How Being Bullied Affects Your Adulthood

    One researcher who has interviewed hundreds of adults who were bullied as teens posits an interesting theory.

    In American schools, bullying is like the dark cousin to prom, student elections, or football practice: Maybe you weren’t involved, but you knew that someone, somewhere was. Five years ago, President Obama spoke against this inevitability at the White House Conference on Bullying Prevention. “With big ears and the name that I have, I wasn’t immune. I didn’t emerge unscathed,” he said. “But because it’s something that happens a lot, and it’s something that’s always been around, sometimes we’ve turned a blind eye to the problem.”

    We know that we shouldn’t turn a blind eye: Research shows that bullying is corrosive to children’s mental health and well-being, with consequences ranging from trouble sleeping and skipping school to psychiatric problems, such as depression or psychosis, self-harm, and suicide.

    But the damage doesn’t stop there. You can’t just close the door on these experiences, says Ellen Walser deLara, a family therapist and professor of social work at Syracuse University, who has interviewed more than 800 people age 18 to 65 about the lasting effects of bullying. Over the years, deLara has seen a distinctive pattern emerge in adults who were intensely bullied. In her new book, Bullying Scars, she introduces a name for the set of symptoms she often encounters: adult post-bullying syndrome, or APBS.

    DeLara estimates that more than a third of the adults she’s spoken to who were bullied have this syndrome. She stresses that APBS is a description, not a diagnosis—she isn’t seeking to have APBS classified as a psychiatric disorder. “It needs considerably more research and other researchers to look at it to make sure that this is what we’re seeing,” deLara says.

    Roughly 1 in 3 students in the United States are bullied at school (figures on cyberbullying are less certain, because it is newer than other forms of bullying and the technology kids use to carry it out is constantly in flux). This abuse can span exclusion, rumors, name-calling, or physical harm. Some victims are isolated loners while others are bedeviled by their own friends or social rivals.

    Years after being mistreated, people with adult post-bullying syndrome commonly struggle with trust and self-esteem, and develop psychiatric problems, deLara’s research found. Some become people-pleasers, or rely on food, alcohol, or drugs to cope.

    In some respects, APBS is similar to post-traumatic stress disorder, or PTSD, in which people who have had terrifying experiences develop an impaired fight-or-flight response. Both APBS and PTSD can lead to lasting anger or anxiety, substance abuse, battered self-esteem, and relationship problems. One difference, though, is that people with APBS seem less prone to sudden flares of rage.

    “Those with PTSD have internalized their trauma such that it has affected their nervous system,” deLara says. “People with PTSD react immediately because their triggers are basically telling them they need to protect themselves against harm.” Those with APBS seem to have a longer fuse; the damage comes not in an outsized reaction but instead because they ruminate on what happened.

    DeLara observed another distinction between sufferers of PTSD and those with APBS: Sometimes, having been bullied seems to have positive outcomes.

    About 47 percent of deLara’s interviewees said they had mined something beneficial, like a sense of inner strength or self-reliance, from the experience. Others cultivated empathy or consciously decided to treat others well or make something of their lives. Everyone with APBS had at least one or more of these boons, deLara says.

    It’s unclear how much of this silver lining can be traced to genetics, and how much to a supportive family or community. “We don’t know the answer as to why some people who are bullied as children have what they consider to be a beneficial outcome as adults,” deLara says.

    She is planning to compare the recovery rates for people with PTSD and with APBS. One difference she saw in people with APBS is that they don’t see the world as a menacing place, as people with PTSD often do.

    Some people have an inborn sense of optimism, or ability to focus on how lucky they are to have left bullying behind them. These people might have a head start in bouncing back, but resilience can also be learned. For people with APBS, deLara recommends family and cognitive behavioral therapies, particularly those focused on trauma.

    Of course, the damage wrought by bullying handily outweighs any benefits. “Because people can make lemonade out of lemons, it doesn’t mean that bullying is a good thing,” deLara says. Even those who are able to see the positive side of having been bullied often had other negative ramifications.

    DeLara hopes that giving a name to these experiences will make it easier for people to find effective treatment. “In order to help someone you have to be able to clearly name what’s going on,” she says. Moreover, people who live with the symptoms of adult post-bullying syndrome don’t realize that they’re not the only ones to respond this way. One man told deLara that the idea of APBS helped him realize his reaction was normal and not another personality flaw.

    DeLara plans to continue studying the long-term consequences of bullying and which therapies can help people overcome them.

    Dieter Wolke, who has studied the psychiatric impacts of bullying in adults at the University of Warwick in Coventry, England, agrees that bullying can leave devastating, long-lasting psychological damage. He’s hesitant, however, about using a new term for these symptoms based on their cause. “I see not much value in inventing a new name,” he says. It’s more important, he says, for doctors to be trained to broach the subject of bullying with their patients.

    What is clear is that while some adults have overcome the bullying they endured as kids, others continue to suffer. The research on what forms this suffering takes is still preliminary. Whether or not the label of APBS sticks around, people who live with its symptoms will benefit from any research into how to resolve them.

    Author: Kate Baggaley

  • The Human Skills We Need For An Unpredictable World

    The more we rely on technology to make us efficient, the fewer skills we have to confront the unexpected, says writer and entrepreneur Margaret Heffernan. She shares why we need less tech and more messy human skills — imagination, humility, bravery — to solve problems in an unpredictable age. “We are brave enough to invent things we’ve never seen before,” she says. “We can make any future we choose.”

    Original article appears in: TED Talks Ideas worth spreading: https://www.ted.com/talks/margaret_heffernan_the_human_skills_we_need_in_an_unpredictable_world/transcript?utm_source=newsletter_weekly_2019-08-02&utm_campaign=newsletter_weekly&utm_medium=email&utm_content=top_left_button#t-4855

  • The Self Disruptive Leader

  • Referral Marketing for Beginners: The Power of Referral Programs

    March 25, 2019

    When it comes to small business marketing, trust is by far the most valuable currency. Driving web traffic and increasing brand awareness are great goals, but there’s nothing more impactful than engendering trust in your business. This can be achieved in a number of ways, but word-of-mouth consistently produces the best results. Indeed, 92 percent of customers say they are inclined to trust “earned” media like word-of-mouth and personal recommendations. Referral marketing is the simplest and most effective way to generate this invaluable buzz, so take a look at what you need to know to get started.

    What Is Referral Marketing?

    There’s no question that word-of-mouth is a powerful force. Plenty of businesses have succeeded largely on the strength of word-of-mouth marketing. In-person recommendations generate over five times more sales than paid marketing efforts, making them a holy grail of advertising. Unfortunately, most businesses can’t afford to simply sit back and wait for these recommendations to happen organically. The solution, then, is referral marketing.

    In its most basic form, referral marketing simply means offering some kind of incentive to encourage satisfied customers to spread the word about your business. Why is this necessary? While 83 percent of customers are willing to spread the word about great products or services, just 29 percent actually do so on their own. Offering a referral program can tap into that remaining 54 percent and lead to a huge increase in your word-of-mouth recommendations. It’s a simple strategy that can produce serious growth, but it’s not right for every situation.

    Is Referral Marketing Right for Your Business?

    An effective referral marketing campaign requires that a business has a few things in place. The first requirement is a truly excellent product or service. After all, few customers are going to suggest a subpar product to their family and friends. Even worse, offering a referral program for something that doesn’t meet expectations can backfire in a serious way. Good reviews for your offerings, positive feedback from customers and unsolicited referrals are all good signs that referral marketing is a fit for your business.

    Another prerequisite is excellent customer support. This serves a few important purposes. The first is to ensure that your business can adequately handle an influx of new customers. It’s no guarantee, but a referral program can sometimes bring in a major increase in traffic. Can your company handle this increase appropriately? The second factor is to make sure that each new customer has as good an experience as the person who made the recommendation. A single referral doesn’t do much good, but a negative experience can stop the chain before it even begins. The best campaigns rely on each referred customer subsequently bringing even more referrals on board.

    The Basics of Creating a Referral Program

    The first step in building a referral program is defining the goals you’d like to achieve. What would constitute a success for your campaign? For some businesses, it may involve hitting a specific sales figure in a certain time frame. For others, it may be more important to bring on a particular number of new customers. Perhaps the most important factor for your industry is building greater trust and recognition. No matter what success looks like to you, it’s important to be specific and set tangible targets that can be used to track your progress later on.

    The next task is to choose the right incentives. In some cases, simply thanking your customers and asking them to spread the word if they’re satisfied is enough to jump-start the process. In other cases, it’s best to offer a reward to help spur your customers into action. Take a look at what your competitors are doing and consider which incentives are appropriate for your industry. Popular options include the following:

    • Priority service
    • Credits or cash back on purchases
    • Access to exclusive deals and discounts
    • Free or upgraded shipping

    Promote, Refine and Refocus

    Once you’ve determined your goals and settled on incentives, the key to success is building awareness of your program. As with incentives, the right approach to promotion may vary depending on your industry and the goods or services you offer. Reaching out to existing customers with an invitational email is almost always a great place to start. A prominent call to action on your website is usually an effective approach as well. It’s also a good idea to incorporate your referral program into your newsletter. Recent studies have shown that 90 percent of people who are prompted to subscribe to a newsletter opt to do so.

    After the program has been launched, it’s important to track the results and adapt your approach as necessary. Unfortunately, it sometimes takes some trial and error to hit upon the most effective combination of incentives and promotional strategies for your industry and customer base. Regularly refining your approach and refocusing your long-term aims will help you maximize your returns. Utilize the metrics that are most important to you to track your success. Consider requesting feedback from customers to gauge their response to your program and use this information to shape any changes moving forward.

    The modern hyperconnected, media-saturated world has given businesses more avenues for marketing than ever before. Nonetheless, word-of-mouth is undoubtedly still king. In fact, it’s the primary motivating factor behind a staggering 50 percent of all purchasing decisions. The most successful small businesses capitalize on this and turn satisfied customers into true allies. With small business referral programs, you can engender trust, give back to the customers who fuel your success and open up new opportunities for strong and sustainable growth.

    Original Article Appears: https://www.hiscox.com/blog/referral-marketing-for-beginners-the-power-of-referral-programs?utm_campaign=D%20-%20Customer%20Newsletter%20-%20May%202019_vB%20F&utm_medium=email&utm_source=Eloqua
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  • When the Weight of a Decision is Keeping You Up at Night…

    When the Weight of a Decision is Keeping You Up at Night…

    Most of us find it easy to make a decision when faced with a right versus a wrong option. We were educated to know the difference between right and wrong in most cases, and through experience our minds were shaped to know how to make such a decision.

    There is clearly a right way to do things because doing it any other way would be wrong. As leaders, we tend to experience these types of situations on a daily basis. And, for the most part, we do quite well in removing obstacles, selecting the best options, and getting things done. However, most of us were not equipped to deal with situations that actually present two equally right options.

    The challenge in these situations is deciding which right thing to do because choosing one means we cannot chose the other. When faced with a right-AND-right choice, we are more likely to avoid making a decision altogether. Relying on the simple rule of “do what feels right” school of personal ethics won’t resolve your dilemma. Moreover, not making any decision doesn’t mean that the situation goes away or vanishes completely. In fact, the opposite is true. It creates a bottleneck, with work piling up because mandates cannot be completed on time due to your indecision. And try as you may, you cannot avoid these situations. It sort of feels like an unwanted traveling companion moving with you wherever you go. The weight of that decision lies solely with you, and only you can decide. No one else.

    So what’s ‘the thing’ about situations that ask you to choose one good option over another good option? Fundamentally, they require you to consider all aspects of the situation in light of personal and organizational values concurrently since the decision you will ultimately need to make will not only shape your character, but also the fabric of your organization.Throughout your professional career, the weight of these situations is experienced slightly differently.

    During the early years, the right-AND-right scenarios tend to touch upon personal integrity. Choosing one option versus another one usually means you compromise something that is of value to you. The pull is between one set of responsibilities over another: “Do I say ‘yes’ and realize I cannot do that anymore? If I accept this, it means I need to give up that!” The qualitative nature of the pull is essentially about you.

    As you gain in scope of influence and accountability in your line of work, these situations of right-ANDright tend to take on a different, more complex flavor. Now, your decisions are not purely personal. The consequences of your decisions can send ripple effects throughout the organization. Everyone is watching you carefully, and noticing if what you said is what you will do. Your decisions can also impact whether others will follow your lead or not: “If I decide to act on this, how will others interpret our corporate rules? By making this decision, who in my group will be mostly impacted? By saying no to this, will others feel I wasn’t being fair?”

    These decisions do define your leadership future as people notice the incongruence in how you hold yourself and others accountable to what you said was important to you, to the team, and to the organization. Finally, and perhaps the most challenging of situations are those that impact networks of relationships outside of your organization. These relationships have legitimate claims, but you cannot satisfy them all. Obligations to one network may be in conflict with another, for instance. Complicating this decision-making process is the stake you claim personally.

    Your own personal values and views may be in direct opposition to any one stakeholder group and what they are responsible for. In his seminal book, entitled, “Defining Moments”, Joseph Badaracco (1997) takes a deep dive into these situations. Suffice to say that there is no exact science or fast-easy approach. Making decisions in right-AND-right situations calls for prudence and awareness of our own moral compass. It demands that we select one option knowing that it factors out all future opportunities and possibilities linked with the other option. Organizations, for their part, ought to encourage managers to value the decision-making process for its inherent complexity, and not just push for ANY decision to be made.

    Moreover, when a decision is well-researched (not just rationalized) and thoughtful, it should be seen as ONE good decision even if it leads to an outcome that was not wanted. Otherwise, you risk creating organizational cultures where decisions are only made in right-versus-wrong situations, and those that present leaders with right-AND-right options are avoid ed altogether.*** Not too long ago, I shared the following three rules with a young aspiring student who was faced with aright-AND-right scenario. My intention was to help her notice that she was indeed facing a situation that she had never encountered before, and that the choice she made today meant eliminating some future directions.

    Embedded in my strategy was to have her ease into this part of young adulthood and not fear such situations as she is bound to experience more in her adult life.Three Rules to a Happy Life:

    1. Never be too proud to change your mind. The sign of a strong leader is one who changes her decision as new information emerges.

    2. Never go for easy. You have one life. Make it matter.

    3. Even after you have carefully considered your options and how each one factors in and factors out possible pathways, flip a coin and name the two sides. If the toss lands on one side that represents the option you chose, and you feel the need to flip again, you have your answer.

    Final words:I’ve encountered countless leaders faced with right-AND-right situations who in the moment, needed an impartial person to help them through the decision: Someone completely separate from their company and usual circle of trusted advisors who although held in high esteem, still tended to have some sort of bias. They have acknowledged that a simple phone call to a professional coach, outside of their structured leadership and mentorship programs, was the game-changing difference. This my friends, was the AHA! moment I had in founding Grand Heron International – for on-demand coaching, for anyone, anywhere, facing a situation where they feel stuck and unable to move forward. I’ve been there, I’ve seen others there and chances are, you’ve been there in your professional life too.

    Remember: Stagnating in indecision is never an option. There are ways to help you see beyond the horizon.

    By Mirella De Civita Ph.D., PCC, MCEC President & Founder of Grand Heron International https://grandheroninternational.ca/

     

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