Tag: business coaching

  • The One Voice Holding You Back Could Be Your Own

    We act on the things we tell ourselves. Here’s how to make that internal dialogue work for you (your clients).

    As I work with clients to help them become the leaders they want to be, I often find that the singular thing holding them back — or pushing them forward — is what they tell themselves.

    Take, for example, my client Carissa, a high-tech professional on the path to a leadership position. Carissa has a promising career. She holds a Harvard MBA. Her company has flagged her as a high-potential leader and enrolled her in a robust leadership program.

    During our first coaching session, I asked Carissa what she’d like to work on. “I constantly self-sabotage,” she replied. “I put myself down all the time and I don’t see my own worth.”

    This ongoing internal dialogue affects how she presents herself at work. When Carissa facilitates meetings, she uses self-deprecating phrases like, “I’m not an expert,” “I’m not sure if this is right,” and “I may be wrong.” This language immediately tells her audience, “I don’t believe in myself. You shouldn’t either.”

    Carissa’s internal dialogue affects her non-verbal communication, too. When she’s not leading a meeting, she tends to sit in the back of the room, out of sight, sending the message that she does not belong. Even though her education, experience, and performance more than prove she does.

    There are many cultural, sociological, and personal reasons behind the things we say to ourselves. But one thing is universally true: Our internal dialogue can become so powerful that it can change the way we live our lives.

    The story you tell yourself can hold you back, or it can power you to move forward. Here are some strategies to help you change your story.

    1. Identify your story. Many of us are not aware of our internal dialogue. The first step is figuring out what we’re telling ourselves, and making sure it’s helping, not hurting. What do you say to yourself after a success? After a failure? How do you approach high-stress situations — do you build yourself up, or tear yourself down?

    2. Develop a growth mindset. According to researcher Carol Dweck, there are two types of mindsets — a fixed mindset and a growth mindset. People who hold fixed mindsets believe their talents and abilities are permanently in place, inflexible to change. On the other hand, people with growth mindsets focus on the future. They believe their talents and abilities can grow and develop. Our internal dialogue can reflect a fixed mindset (“I’m just not good at public speaking”) or a growth mindset (“With some practice, I’ll be a great public speaker.”)

    3. Think in the “now.” People often place conditions on their happiness or readiness for success — “I’ll be happy when I get a different job,” or “I’ll be confident at work once I have enough experience.” This type of thinking may focus on the future, but it is limiting. It keeps us from living in the moment, from taking the experience, knowledge and confidence we have now and using it as fuel for growth.

    4. Treat yourself with respect. Before you engage in internal dialogue, ask yourself, is this something I would say to a friend? A colleague? A family member? If it’s something you wouldn’t say to someone you respect, don’t say it to yourself. The inspirational George Raveling, Nike’s former Director of International Basketball, said it best when he said: “Most relationships come with an expiration date. The most important relationship you will ever have is the relationship you have with yourself.”

    5. Be intentional. In his book “Triggers” executive coach and author Marshall Goldsmith describes a set of questions he asks himself at the end of each day. The questions start with the phrase, “Have I done my best” as it relates to health, relationships, and professional matters. For example, “Have I done my best today to build positive relationships?” Think if there are any areas of your life that can benefit from specific, intentional self-messaging. Replacing negative, self-sabotaging internal dialogue with questions like these can lead us on a more proactive, positive path.

    6. Meditate with a mantra. Marshall’s questions are intentional. Another way to integrate a daily intention is through meditation, specifically with a mantra that focuses us in a positive direction. Deepak Chopra has authored many of my favorite mantras, including “Everything I desire is within me” and “I move through my days light-hearted and carefree, knowing all is well.”

    As I meditate, I use these mantras as reminders of my intention, reminders that as I change my internal dialogue — my own story — I change my life.

    Published on: Sep 17, 2018 Inc.com https://www.inc.com/maya-hu-chan/the-one-voice-holding-you-back-could-be-your-own.html?cid=search

  • Skim Reading Is The New Normal

  • The Leadership Challenge No One Talks About

    by Cindy Knezevich

    View original publication on smarttribesinstitute.com/

    As a leadership and culture coach, I’m often asked: what is the hardest part about being a CEO? Although as a CEO you get to shape a company in your image, hire people to work with you, and receive recognition for your accomplishments…

    …It’s also incredibly lonely.

    CEOs claim the biggest leadership challenge they face in their roles is not having anyone to confide in. Given the overwhelming responsibility and pressure to appear calm for employees, to consistently deliver results and to be where the proverbial buck stops, it’s no wonder CEOs have a tendency to isolate themselves.

    And it’s a problem.

    The Loneliness Dilemma

    According to the Harvard Business Review, half of CEOs express feelings of loneliness, 61% of which believe loneliness hinders their job performance. The office environment is intense enough… But then there’s the media.

    CEOs are now seen as public figures, more so than they ever used to be. In 2015, Fast Company published an article comparing the best and worst leaders, with CEOs making both sides of the list. Then Business Insider joined the conversation and detailed the worst American CEOs of all time.
    Unfortunately, technology has blurred the lines between private and public life. Feeling a strong lack of privacy contributes to deeper feelings of isolation… And that’s not good for the brain.

    Loneliness can make you sick. How? It’s been proven that social isolation affects behavior and brain operation. Isolation and loneliness trigger that fight-or-flight response, which can lead to ill health and even death. Loneliness can affect your sleep patterns, stress hormones, and even the production of white blood cells. It’s crucial to learn how to overcome these feelings of loneliness at work so you can be healthier and work more efficiently.

    Here are my top 3 tips for overcoming the leadership challenge of loneliness as a CEO.

    Join A Support Group

    Support groups for CEOs are on the rise. Many of our clients find Young Presidents’ Organization (YPO) and Entrepreneurs’ Organization (EO) to be terrific networking communities as well as support systems, as many of them are facing the same leadership challenge of loneliness.

    Joining a support group will give you the safety, belonging, mattering you crave in a community of those who are similar to you, and aren’t afraid to give you some tough love and honest feedback. Forming connections with others also strongly alleviates stress. People with strong social ties live longer and have better mental health than those who feel isolated and lonely.

    Balance Work And Home Life

    As a CEO, it can be impossible to ever feel ‘done’ with work. When work begins taking over all aspects of your life, it can be difficult to have time to form crucial social connections. There are a few ways you can cultivate a balance between your work and personal life.

    Leave the Office Before Dark: Leaders like Sheryl Sandberg (Facebook), Spencer Rascoff (Zillow), and Hiroshi Lockheimer (Google) all make an effort to be home for dinner. They say it gives them more time to spend with their families and allows them to create boundaries between work and home life.

    Stay Present: Do you ever find yourself not entirely present in the moment? Your mind can wander anywhere, from a business meeting to the family dinner table. Sometimes, creating a necessary balance can be as simple as staying in the moment.

    Vulnerability Is Actually Strength

    What would it look like to allow yourself to be vulnerable? To Swiss Life’s Patrick Frost, the ability to be vulnerable means not being afraid to show weakness. In fact, Frost believes weakness is important in a business setting because it fosters discussion about key problems. CEOs lead by example… Letting your team know you’re open to discussing important issues will make them feel more comfortable coming to you. Start by being in touch with how you feel at any given time.

    Allowing others into your personal world cultivates trust and respect, and is the perfect solution to loneliness. If you’re confiding in others, and letting them really see you, you’re breaking that barrier of isolation that comes with the job title.

    The Net-net

    It’s lonely at the top — but it doesn’t have to be. Let people in, confide in support groups, and take time to yourself to reconnect with those most important to you.

  • Embrace Your Leadership Weaknesses (and turn them into strengths)

    Embrace Your Leadership Weaknesses (and turn them into strengths)

    By Lynn Varacalli Cavanaugh

    View original original publication on Progressivewomensleadership.com

    #1: Micromanaging

    Do you check in on your staff several times a day to make sure they’ve completed every little task? In an effort to ensure that things get done, you might have inadvertently become a taskmaster. Perhaps you’re a new leader or you’ve have had role models that might have influenced your management style. But good leaders put trust in their team, even trusting them with sensitive company information. And most times, good employees will step up to show the leader they’re worthy of that trust.

    Fix this flaw: The best approach? “Focus on specific outcomes and trusting your team to follow through,” says Keisha A. Rivers, founder, The KARS Group. Do periodic check-ins to ensure progress is being made, “rather than wanting to be cc’d on every single email or requiring your team to provide daily status reports,” she says.
    #2: Requiring 24/7 access

    An always-connected approach to leadership has become the standard for today’s workplace, but is it always the best way to operate? No, it’s bad for leaders and team members alike. Leaders need to be aware of the impact that 24-7 connectedness has on their teams, making them feel they should be online because their leader is. This can set unreasonable expectations for when they should be working and lead to burnout and feelings of resentment. And for a leader, stretching yourself too thin is unproductive and will do more damage than good for you and the company.

    Fix this flaw: Even though project management tools, IM, email, etc. allow managers to “participate in every minute decision that gets made,” says Nicholas Thorne, CEO, Basno, it doesn’t mean they should. If you communicate clearly and set consistent expectations, you’ll empower your team members to work decisively. A good leader understands the need to recharge so employees can come back and stay productive. A leader needs to step back in the same way. Otherwise, you’re more likely to lose focus and make mistakes and exercise poor judgment.
    #3: Being stuck in your ways

    The way you’re doing things may be working, but it’s important for leaders to constantly make themselves aware of innovative ways to improve their department, and the company as well. The best leaders challenge themselves to continue to grow and learn – and are always inspiring their employees to continue to create innovative solutions.

    Fix this flaw: To stay adaptive and innovative, leaders need to open their mind to new ideas and fresh perspectives from their team. “Make it a top priority to not only solicit feedback from them, but also decipher that feedback and act on upon it,” says Liz Elting, co-CEO, TransPerfect.
    #4: Not being a team player

    Are you walking the talk? Have you ever, in front of your team, criticized another employee or complained when you have to do something you’d rather not do? As a leader, you set the tone for your team’s behavior and work ethic. That’s why a leader needs to be hyper-aware of her behavior and hold herself to the same or higher standards. And that means working as hard or harder to gain your team’s respect.

    Fix this flaw: As you create the environment you want your team to collaborate in, you need to be right there in the thick of it. You don’t want to isolate yourself from your team or act like you’re better than them, advises Monahan. “When you make yourself vulnerable,” she says, “you make yourself relatable.”
    #5: Having goals, but no vision

    Your team always needs to know what they’re working toward. What are the goals? What is the overall vision for the company? Employees need to know their work has meaning and is contributing to a bigger picture. In a recent leadership survey by The Alternative Board, 46% of companies feel a leader’s most important function is “accomplishing goals,” followed closely by “setting a vision” (38%). The two go hand in hand, yet many leaders struggle to craft and communicate a clear vision and the necessary goals to accompany that vision.

    Fix this flaw: As a leader, you need to paint a picture for your team. Share with them where your company’s headed in the long-term (the vision) and in the next month, quarter, year, etc. (the goals). “As leaders, it’s up to you to provide a clear but succinct picture of the vision and desired outcomes for the team,” says Rivers. “People connect to a project or task much easier if they know where it’s headed.” Your team will be more productive. It will motivate them and keep them on track.
    #6: Needing to be liked

    Leaders are people first, and it’s natural that they want to be liked. But the need to be in everyone’s good favor can sometimes cloud good business judgment. Managers need to sometimes make unpopular decisions, says David Scarola, VP, The Alternative Board. It goes with the territory.

    Fix this flaw: The best leaders know that if they make consistently good decisions, and “take the time to explain their reasoning, they will earn the respect of their employees,” says Scarola. Choose respect over being liked every time.

    Becoming aware of a weakness is key. Perhaps regular inventories of your past performances and results can help you identify them. This self-awareness is invaluable, since it’s an opportunity for growth that will take your leadership to the next level.

  • How You Need to Balance Belonging with Standing Out

    How You Need to Balance Belonging with Standing Out

    by Liz Guthridge, MCEC | Jul 7, 2018 | Blog | 0 comments

    Superstars, rock stars, and heroes who save the day have fallen out of favor in many organizations.

    Now we’re encouraged to celebrate team players who cooperate, collaborate, and play well with others.

    They combine their brainpower to deal with the complexity surrounding us. (Yes, it’s a VUCA–volatile, uncertain, complex and ambiguous—world.) More brains are better than one as it’s impossible for one person to know all the answers, or even pose all the key questions.

    Yet, we still need to pay attention to and honor individuals and their personal contributions.

    Any time we ignore an individual’s “superpowers” or even a person’s unique characteristics, we turn a blind eye to our humanity. As a result, we’re doing a disservice to individual team members and the team as a whole that can hurt individual as well as team performance.

    Here’s why individual recognition is so important. We humans have two competing social needs—the need to belong and the need to stand out from the crowd. Or in a work setting, stand out on the team.

    Scientists have a name for this dynamic duality: optimal distinctiveness.

    Becoming aware of this 27-year-old concept is the first step to improving individual performance and creating more inclusive, better performing teams.

    The second step is finding the optimal balance between homogeneity and uniqueness. This is challenging, not only for an individual, but also for team leaders and especially organizational leaders.

    The upside of belonging gives you as a team member purpose, meaning and clarity. Let’s say you’re proud to be a member of a special project team that’s tackling a vital organizational issue, such as expanding services to new customers, including animal owners.

    On the downside, you don’t want your group membership to crush your personality or silence your distinct voice, especially when you have a strong point of view. For instance, what if you don’t have much passion or compassion for one of the new customer niches, such as exotic animal owners?

    For some individuals, getting and staying in equilibrium with certain groups can be a continual challenge.

    As a leader, you may need to make an effort to achieve optimal distinctiveness for your teams or organization unless the duality is baked into your organizational DNA.

    For instance, consider Airbnb and Planned Parenthood. Both are built around group belonging and individual uniqueness. Airbnb hosts offer up their personal homes to guests. In Planned Parenthood’s case, stand-alone affiliates around the United States provide reproductive health care and other related services to local patients. These affiliates represent the Planned Parenthood brand as they adjust their delivery to fit their local community.

    For leaders in other types of organizations, here are three suggestions for working toward applying optimal distinctiveness:

    Embrace inclusion, recognizing that it affects everyone. As the neuroscientists say, if you aren’t actively including people, you’re accidentally excluding them. The human brain interprets ambiguity as a potential threat, which can make people feel they don’t belong and you as a leader may not care about them. From a practical perspective,

    as a leader you can make people feel included by being clear in your words and actions that they are members of the group and play an important role.

    Remind them of the group’s purpose.

    Keep them regularly informed.

    Help them and others find common ground as they work.

    Encourage them to speak up, reinforcing that it’s a safe place. (For more about the importance of psychological safety and inclusion, check out Why you need safety for a high-performing culture.)

    Get to know team members as individuals and treat them according to the platinum rule. This means treating people the way they want to be treated.

    For example, if they prefer private recognition over public recognition, write them a handwritten, personal note to thank them for their contribution instead of asking them to stand up to be applauded at a public meeting.

    In other situations, be curious about their interests outside of work, such as entertainment preferences, hobbies and family, and ask about them.

    And support them in bringing their whole self to work and expressing their individuality.

    Champion volunteer issues groups, rather than employee resource groups. As background, the traditional employee resource groups, such as women’s groups, African-American Groups, and LGBTQ groups, heighten the differences among individuals in the workforce. This can lead to two detrimental effects. Those who don’t fit the group membership criteria feel excluded. (This has contributed to many white males feeling they’re being left behind in diversity initiatives.) Also, research has shown that identity groups can act as an echo chamber for individuals, perpetuating self-stereotypes, such as women feeling they lack confidence.

    By contrast, volunteer issue groups, such as teams working to protect the environment, further education, or address customer concerns, give interested individuals an opportunity to contribute their unique gifts for a good cause and work with others who share their interests.

    Yes, there’s pressure between belonging and maintaining individual identity. However, it’s a healthy tension that contributes to our humanness. And if individuals and leaders make an effort to strike a balance both as individuals and teams, they can achieve amazing things together.

    How do you balance belonging with standing out?

    Resource: https://connectconsultinggroup.com/how-you-need-to-balance-belonging-with-standing-out/

  • How To Use 360-Degree Feedback For Executive Coaching

    Executive coaching has been on the rise for decades as a strategic investment in human capital. When well-designed and delivered, coaching has been found to be one of the most effective approaches for developing senior leaders and enhancing the performance of their teams and organizations.

    One of the most important components of executive coaching is the 360-degree feedback that the coach gathers for coaching participants about their strengths and development needs, how they are perceived, and what they need to do in order to achieve a higher level of performance and positive impact. Feedback can be gathered via automated online surveys or one-on-one interviews.

    The first decision for coaching participants, their managers, and the coach is whether to collect data online or through in-person, video conference, or telephone interviews, or some combination thereof. Online 360s are more convenient and less costly, but, if correctly formulated and well-structured, interviews can help provide additional context and information. Sometimes an executive coach can use both, and follow up on a previous online 360 or performance review by interviewing designated feedback providers, in-person when possible, and via video conference or phone for those who are traveling and/or who work in different locations.

    Once the approach has been decided on, the next decision is who should participate. The list of feedback providers should generally include anyone who has enough familiarity with the coachee’s work to be able to contribute useful observations and suggestions. The list should also be inclusive rather than exclusive, and should include all of the coachee’s direct reports, peers, and managers. It’s important to take organizational politics into account when drafting the 360 list: internal or external constituencies, such as customers or counter-parties, may also have helpful feedback to provide, and inviting them to participate can send a positive message, indicating that the coachee cares about their views and feedback. In order to ensure that the feedback providers will have a balanced perspective, there should be no sample bias, wherein only those who have positive (or negative) things to say are invited to participate. As far as process is concerned, it’s generally best to have coachees draft the initial list, and then run it by their boss, and possibly even HR, for refinement and approval.

    In advance of doing the online 360 or conducting the interviews, it’s important to define who will see the feedback reports, either in full, edited, or summary form, and to clarify whether comments will be given “verbatim” in the feedback providers’ own words, or whether the coach will offer filtered/paraphrased feedback. Generally, we recommend that verbatim comments get shared in the report in order to include the most direct feedback. However, it should be clear to everyone who participates in an online or interview 360 that their verbatim comments will be shared, and in the case of an online 360, it’s useful to provide feedback providers with a sample report so they can see how their comments will be reflected in the report. We also suggest that the online or interview-based 360 should be shared in full, but only with the coaching participants themselves, as this increases the comfort that people have in being open and honest in the feedback that they provide without concern that tough feedback and/or specific criticism will somehow end up in the coachee’s “file.” However, once participants have received the full report, they should be willing to share a summary of insights gained, and/or developmental plans made, based on the feedback in order to ensure that they will be (and feel) accountable for making progress based on the report. Regardless of which option is chosen, the choice needs to be made and communicated before the interviews are conducted, so that parameters are fully clear in advance to all participants, and they know exactly how, and with whom, their feedback will, and will not, be shared.

    Once a consensus has been reached about the list of 360 providers, and who will see the report, the next step is drafting the questions that will be asked. If a standard online 360 will be used, it can be helpful, at times, to include a few additional context-specific questions, including open-ended questions, to gather more relevant information for the coachee. The boss and the coaching participant will likely be interested in each other’s preferred additional open-ended questions, as these questions will reveal their respective priorities and goals for the coaching program. If the boss wants to ask questions about executive presence or presentation skills, that is a signal to the coachee that the boss believes that those areas are relevant and improvable. If the coachee wants to ask what he or she needs to do in order to get promoted, that informs the boss that getting a promotion is a current goal or expectation for the coaching participant.

    It’s important to achieve consensus between the boss and the coachee about how broadly or narrowly to focus the questions, whether or not to include questions about the individual’s role and organizational constraints, whether to ask about potential future roles for the coachee, and whether or not to ask the same, or different questions to different people. Every question will also send a signal to participants about the coaching participant’s (and potentially the boss’s) coaching concerns and priorities, so it’s important to also consider organizational politics in drafting the questions in order to make sure that they are conveying the right messages. As with the participant list, we recommend that the coaching participants first draft the list of questions and then ask their boss (and possibly HR as well) for any edits, additions or changes.

    For interview-based 360s, here are some open-ended questions that we find helpful as a starting point:

    • How would you describe Jane’s leadership and management style?

    • How would you describe Jane’s communication and collaboration style?

    • What are Jane’s strengths?

    • What are Jane’s areas for development?

    • If you could give Jane one piece of advice, what would it be?

    • If you could make one request to Jane, what would it be?

    If the boss and organization are open to it, the coach can also ask contextual questions like:

    • What organizational factors or changes outside of Jane’s department present challenges and opportunities?

    • What organizational factors or changes inside of Jane’s department present challenges and opportunities?

    • What leadership suggestions do you have for Jane and her department to be more successful in the future?

    • What organizational suggestions do you have for Jane and her department to be more successful in the future?

    After all of the above decisions have been made, the next step is for participants to email their feedback providers about the upcoming interviews (or online 360). Sharing the questions in advance can have the dual benefit of giving people time to prepare their answers in advance, and also providing reassurance that everyone will be asked the same questions in the interviews. Furthermore, gaining alignment about the timing and logistics of the interview-based or online 360, including the list of participants, the questions that will be asked, and the confidentiality and reporting parameters can help set up the process for success. When the coach asks the most topical and timely 360 questions of the right sample of feedback providers, the answers will enable the coach to provide the most specific, relevant and useful feedback to coaching participants who can in turn utilize it to develop their skills and professional capabilities. Often, the process of selecting feedback providers, drafting questions, and deciding on timing, logistics and parameters can itself be an important learning opportunity within the overall coaching process. When it comes to 360-degree feedback, the questions (and the process of the coachee achieving consensus with his or her stakeholders about how the questions will be asked, of whom, and how and with whom the report will be shared) can be as important as the answers to those questions.

    In brief, although it can be laborious and complex to get it right, there is no better source of evidence for an executive’s reputation, and no better way to enhance their self-awareness, than through 360s.

    Dr. Tomas Chamorro-Premuzic is a Professor of Psychology at UCL and Columbia University, and the Chief Talent Scientist at ManpowerGroup

    Resource: https://www.forbes.com/sites/discoverpersonalloans/2018/04/16/5-expenses-small-business-owners-face-and-how-to-cover-them/#7b2e98456fd5

  • Leadership Lessons You Should Learn Early

    By Jeff Boss

    View original publication on Forbes.com

    Leadership challenges are more complex today than ever before, and one leadership challenge that I see as an executive coach is the tendency to anticipate what might happen tomorrow while forgetting about what is happening today. In other words, leaders try to outthink and overanalyze the future. They anticipate all the possibilities that could happen, select the outcome most likely to occur and then mold their leadership style to accommodate it, only to find that Murphy has a full-time job and is apparently dedicated solely to them — and Murphy wins.The point is, tomorrow, next week or next year are all uncertain, so if you try to mold your leadership style to the “most likely” option to occur, then you’re not leading, you’re contingency planning.

    Leaders don’t just think about the future, they think in it. Once they have a clear picture of what they want to see, where they want to be—as an individual or as a team — and why, they begin to mold the world around them to achieve it.

    I learned a lot in the military about leadership and continue learning today by helping others with their “molding process” as an executive coach. Here are four more leadership lessons to share with you:

    Leaders have choices, but leadership is a choice.

    You can be promoted, “given” responsibility for a new project or authorized to make certain decisions, but none of that makes you a leader. These are just tools designed to test you, to be added to your arsenal of potential should you accept the challenge, but they don’t inspire others to follow you. You know you’re a leader when somebody follows you no matter what title you have, and they do so because you’ve made difficult choices that others have shied away from. That’s what leaders do.

    Leadership isn’t the problem, but it is the solution.

    It’s easy to blame “leadership” for the way things are because it takes the blame off oneself, but the only problem truly exists is how each person contributes to the problem. If you have a toxic leader, for example, it’s not up to HR to “fix” him, it’s up to every person around him to start leading! For every person who doesn’t challenge the status quo but complains about it, they’re contributing to the problem. For every person who wants to build more trust in their team but doesn’t speak candidly in meetings, they’re part of the problem. You get what you give, so speaking with candor yields trust. Asking questions calls for direct answers (“why is the sky blue?”) whereas making statements generally lead to more statements and ultimately turn into dead-end conversations (“there must be a reason why the sky is blue”). Poor leadership doesn’t exist because people are malicious but because nobody has taken the time to develop people as leaders.

    Leadership is hard to measure.

    One reason why leadership is hard to measure is that people have different definitions of what it means to lead. Without a shared definition of success, it’s difficult to ascertain whether success was ever achieved. I found one definition of leadership as operating along a spectrum, with persuasion and influence on one end and virtue and nobility on the other. I thought this was close, but it isn’t. Leadership isn’t good and it isn’t bad. It isn’t virtuous and it isn’t evil. History is full of malicious leaders. Hitler, Idi Amin, Osama bin Laden and Saddam Hussein were all rotten to the core, but they were leaders nonetheless. That’s why leadership is neither good nor bad but a tool that serves as a guide toward intention. Leadership is authentic self-expression that instills value in others and compels them to act.

    Another reason leadership is hard to measure is that when it’s going well there’s nothing to measure. It’s much easier to identify something that’s not working well than something that is.

    Leaders don’t work alone.

    As “solo” as the concept of leadership seems, leaders rarely serve as lone wolf contributors. They know that extraordinary results don’t come from “me” but from “we;” from collective effort united toward a shared purpose. When you start a new business you don’t go it alone, you enlist the insight, advice and support of others. When actors receive an award they thank others for helping them make it happen (and I’m not saying that all actors are leaders but that their success is the result of collective effort). The point is, smart leaders are smart because of the people they surround themselves with.

    What are your leadership lessons?

  • High-Performing Teams Need Psychological Safety. Here’s How to Create It

    “There’s no team without trust,” (….”and no tribe without trust and direct feedback” cb) says Paul Santagata, Head of Industry at Google. He knows the results of the tech giant’s massive two-year study on team performance, which revealed that the highest-performing teams have one thing in common: psychological safety, the belief that you won’t be punished when you make a mistake ...”or speak your truth”…cb). Studies show that psychological safety allows for moderate risk-taking, speaking your mind, creativity, and sticking your neck out without fear of having it cut off — just the types of behavior that lead to market breakthroughs.

    Ancient evolutionary adaptations explain why psychological safety is both fragile and vital to success in uncertain, interdependent environments. The brain processes a provocation by a boss, competitive coworker, or dismissive subordinate as a life-or-death threat. The amygdala, the alarm bell in the brain, ignites the fight-or-flight response, hijacking higher brain centers. This “act first, think later” brain structure shuts down perspective and analytical reasoning. Quite literally, just when we need it most, we lose our minds. While that fight-or-flight reaction may save us in life-or-death situations, it handicaps the strategic thinking needed in today’s workplace.

    Twenty-first-century success depends on another system — the broaden-and-build mode of positive emotion, which allows us to solve complex problems and foster cooperative relationships. Barbara Fredrickson at the University of North Carolina has found that positive emotions like trust, curiosity, confidence, and inspiration broaden the mind and help us build psychological, social, and physical resources. We become more open-minded, resilient, motivated, and persistent when we feel safe. Humor increases, as does solution-finding and divergent thinking — the cognitive process underlying creativity.

    When the workplace feels challenging but not threatening, teams can sustain the broaden-and-build mode. Oxytocin levels in our brains rise, eliciting trust and trust-making behavior. This is a huge factor in team success, as Santagata attests: “In Google’s fast-paced, highly demanding environment, our success hinges on the ability to take risks and be vulnerable in front of peers.”

    So how can you increase psychological safety on your own team? Try replicating the steps that Santagata took with his:

    1. Approach conflict as a collaborator, not an adversary. We humans hate losing even more than we love winning. A perceived loss triggers attempts to reestablish fairness through competition, criticism, or disengagement, which is a form of workplace-learned helplessness. Santagata knows that true success is a win-win outcome, so when conflicts come up, he avoids triggering a fight-or-flight reaction by asking, “How could we achieve a mutually desirable outcome?”

    2. Speak human to human. Underlying every team’s who-did-what confrontation are universal needs such as respect, competence, social status, and autonomy. Recognizing these deeper needs naturally elicits trust and promotes positive language and behaviors. Santagata reminded his team that even in the most contentious negotiations, the other party is just like them and aims to walk away happy. He led them through a reflection called “Just Like Me,” which asks you to consider:

    • This person has beliefs, perspectives, and opinions, just like me.
    • This person has hopes, anxieties, and vulnerabilities, just like me.
    • This person has friends, family, and perhaps children who love them, just like me.
    • This person wants to feel respected, appreciated, and competent, just like me.
    • This person wishes for peace, joy, and happiness, just like me.

    3. Anticipate reactions and plan countermoves. “Thinking through in advance how your audience will react to your messaging helps ensure your content will be heard, versus your audience hearing an attack on their identity or ego,” explains Santagata.

    Skillfully confront difficult conversations head-on by preparing for likely reactions. For example, you may need to gather concrete evidence to counter defensiveness when discussing hot-button issues. Santagata asks himself, “If I position my point in this manner, what are the possible objections, and how would I respond to those counterarguments?” He says, “Looking at the discussion from this third-party perspective exposes weaknesses in my positions and encourages me to rethink my argument.”

    Specifically, he asks:

    • What are my main points?
    • What are three ways my listeners are likely to respond?
    • How will I respond to each of those scenarios?

    4. Replace blame with curiosity. If team members sense that you’re trying to blame them for something, you become their saber-toothed tiger. John Gottman’s research at the University of Washington shows that blame and criticism reliably escalate conflict, leading to defensiveness and — eventually — to disengagement. The alternative to blame is curiosity. If you believe you already know what the other person is thinking, then you’re not ready to have a conversation. Instead, adopt a learning mindset, knowing you don’t have all the facts. Here’s how:

    • State the problematic behavior or outcome as an observation, and use factual, neutral language. For example, “In the past two months there’s been a noticeable drop in your participation during meetings and progress appears to be slowing on your project.”
    • Engage them in an exploration. For example, “I imagine there are multiple factors at play. Perhaps we could uncover what they are together?”
    • Ask for solutions. The people who are responsible for creating a problem often hold the keys to solving it. That’s why a positive outcome typically depends on their input and buy-in. Ask directly, “What do you think needs to happen here?” Or, “What would be your ideal scenario?” Another question leading to solutions is: “How could I support you?”

    5. Ask for feedback on delivery. Asking for feedback on how you delivered your message disarms your opponent, illuminates blind spots in communication skills, and models fallibility, which increases trust in leaders. Santagata closes difficult conversations with these questions:

    • What worked and what didn’t work in my delivery?
    • How did it feel to hear this message?
    • How could I have presented it more effectively?

    For example, Santagata asked about his delivery after giving his senior manager tough feedback. His manager replied, “This could have felt like a punch in the stomach, but you presented reasonable evidence and that made me want to hear more. You were also eager to discuss the challenges I had, which led to solutions.”

    6. Measure psychological safety. Santagata periodically asks his team how safe they feel and what could enhance their feeling of safety. In addition, his team routinely takes surveys on psychological safety and other team dynamics. Some teams at Google include questions such as, “How confident are you that you won’t receive retaliation or criticism if you admit an error or make a mistake?”

    If you create this sense of psychological safety on your own team starting now, you can expect to see higher levels of engagement, increased motivation to tackle difficult problems, more learning and development opportunities, and better performance.

  • Leading with the Power of Humility

    by Dan Rockwel

    View original publication on LeadershipFreak

    The seductions of arrogance wreck leaders, demoralize teams, and destroy organizations.

    “The only thing more dangerous than ignorance is arrogance.” (Attributed to Albert Einstein.)

    Everything good in leadership begins with humility.

    Subtleties of arrogance:

    1. Taking offense at slights. A thin skin points to pride. “You deserve better.”
    2. Judging others by unspoken expectations. The “humble-arrogant” are better than others because they hold people to high standards that they don’t meet themselves.
    3. Searching for self-justification. Arrogance circles back on problems – not to find solutions – but in search of reasons it didn’t do wrong.

    The brother of arrogance is disdain.

    All you can do is coerce those you look down on.

    Practice humility:

    Humility is a practice not a destination.

    #1. Acknowledge the subtlety of arrogance.

    Humility begins when you acknowledge arrogance.

    You have puddles of humility and oceans of arrogance, but you judge yourself by the puddles. My own arrogance makes me skeptical of any other option.

    #2. Pursue growth.

    “An arrogant person considers himself perfect. This is the chief harm of arrogance. It interferes with a person’s main task in life – becoming a better person.” Leo Tolstoy

    Everyone who develops their leadership knows what they’re working on.

    What leadership behavior will you practice today?

    Practice is intentional repetition that includes reflection and course adjustment.

    #3. Pick up the trash.

    Don’t simply tell people to pick up the trash. Pick it up yourself.

    No job is menial to the humble.

    Ray Kroc, the founder of McDonald’s, was famous for picking up trash. “Every night you’d see him coming down the street, walking close to the gutter, picking up every McDonald’s wrapper and cup along the way,” former McDonald’s CEO Fred Turner told author Alan Deutschman. “He’d come into the store with both hands full of cups and wrappers.” (Daniel Coyle in the Culture Code)

    What are the subtitles of arrogance?

    How might leaders practice humility?

  • 10 Small Things Successful People Do Every Day

    Image Designed by Freepik

    By Lolly Daskal
    View original Publication on LollyDaskal.com

    Every day, we’re surrounded by life lessons–little self-contained bits of truth that can help each of us to be a more successful manager, a greater boss, a superior leader, a better person.

    It’s easy to dismiss these ideas because they’re packaged in such small bites, but they can be a great way to positively connect with some of the world’s great wisdom.

    Here are 10 of my favorites:

    1. You have to start somewhere. The first step to getting anywhere is deciding you’re not willing to stay where you are. The least helpful thing you can do is to wait for perfection before taking action. Start where you are, use what you have and do what you can to succeed.

    2. There is always a demand for your supply of respect. Base your attitude in life on how you want to be treated and show respect even to people who don’t deserve it. How you treat others is not a reflection of their character but of yours.

    3. You win when everybody wins. Prepare to win and expect to win, but remember that to be a real winner you must also make winners of those around you.

    4. If your presence doesn’t add value, your absence won’t be felt. The secret to success is no secret at all–it’s finding ways to add value to people’s lives. If you want to be rich in the truest sense of the world, it cannot be about you–it has to include adding value to the lives of those around you.

    5. Focus your attention on what is important. Learn to be disciplined about what you respond to and react to. Not everyone and everything deserves your time, energy and attention. Make conscious choices about what you want to pay attention to and what you want to let go.

    6. All the confidence you will ever need comes from the capabilities you’ve honed. Here’s something I always tell my clients: Confidence comes from believing you are able but competence knows you’re able. Believe in yourself and your possibilities, but know what you are already a master of.

    7. Love what you do or find something else. If you don’t love what you do, you’ll spend the rest of your life being miserable. It’s really that simple. Love what you do and it will never feel like work.

    8. Identify your limits and leverage your fortitude. You will never know your limits unless you push yourself beyond them. The only way to change yourself is to challenge yourself–if you never push, you have direction but no destination.

    9. Know when to forge ahead and when to slow down. The faster we live, the busier we get–but the slower we take things, the deeper we can go. We need both action and reflection in the right balance.

    10. To learn the best, learn from the best. Everyone you meet knows something you don’t. Learning is a treasure, so connect with the expertise of those around you at every opportunity,

    The biggest difference between successful people and not successful people, are the successful people know that taking small daily actions will lead to big results.