Tag: employee development

  • When the Weight of a Decision is Keeping You Up at Night…

    When the Weight of a Decision is Keeping You Up at Night…

    Most of us find it easy to make a decision when faced with a right versus a wrong option. We were educated to know the difference between right and wrong in most cases, and through experience our minds were shaped to know how to make such a decision.

    There is clearly a right way to do things because doing it any other way would be wrong. As leaders, we tend to experience these types of situations on a daily basis. And, for the most part, we do quite well in removing obstacles, selecting the best options, and getting things done. However, most of us were not equipped to deal with situations that actually present two equally right options.

    The challenge in these situations is deciding which right thing to do because choosing one means we cannot chose the other. When faced with a right-AND-right choice, we are more likely to avoid making a decision altogether. Relying on the simple rule of “do what feels right” school of personal ethics won’t resolve your dilemma. Moreover, not making any decision doesn’t mean that the situation goes away or vanishes completely. In fact, the opposite is true. It creates a bottleneck, with work piling up because mandates cannot be completed on time due to your indecision. And try as you may, you cannot avoid these situations. It sort of feels like an unwanted traveling companion moving with you wherever you go. The weight of that decision lies solely with you, and only you can decide. No one else.

    So what’s ‘the thing’ about situations that ask you to choose one good option over another good option? Fundamentally, they require you to consider all aspects of the situation in light of personal and organizational values concurrently since the decision you will ultimately need to make will not only shape your character, but also the fabric of your organization.Throughout your professional career, the weight of these situations is experienced slightly differently.

    During the early years, the right-AND-right scenarios tend to touch upon personal integrity. Choosing one option versus another one usually means you compromise something that is of value to you. The pull is between one set of responsibilities over another: “Do I say ‘yes’ and realize I cannot do that anymore? If I accept this, it means I need to give up that!” The qualitative nature of the pull is essentially about you.

    As you gain in scope of influence and accountability in your line of work, these situations of right-ANDright tend to take on a different, more complex flavor. Now, your decisions are not purely personal. The consequences of your decisions can send ripple effects throughout the organization. Everyone is watching you carefully, and noticing if what you said is what you will do. Your decisions can also impact whether others will follow your lead or not: “If I decide to act on this, how will others interpret our corporate rules? By making this decision, who in my group will be mostly impacted? By saying no to this, will others feel I wasn’t being fair?”

    These decisions do define your leadership future as people notice the incongruence in how you hold yourself and others accountable to what you said was important to you, to the team, and to the organization. Finally, and perhaps the most challenging of situations are those that impact networks of relationships outside of your organization. These relationships have legitimate claims, but you cannot satisfy them all. Obligations to one network may be in conflict with another, for instance. Complicating this decision-making process is the stake you claim personally.

    Your own personal values and views may be in direct opposition to any one stakeholder group and what they are responsible for. In his seminal book, entitled, “Defining Moments”, Joseph Badaracco (1997) takes a deep dive into these situations. Suffice to say that there is no exact science or fast-easy approach. Making decisions in right-AND-right situations calls for prudence and awareness of our own moral compass. It demands that we select one option knowing that it factors out all future opportunities and possibilities linked with the other option. Organizations, for their part, ought to encourage managers to value the decision-making process for its inherent complexity, and not just push for ANY decision to be made.

    Moreover, when a decision is well-researched (not just rationalized) and thoughtful, it should be seen as ONE good decision even if it leads to an outcome that was not wanted. Otherwise, you risk creating organizational cultures where decisions are only made in right-versus-wrong situations, and those that present leaders with right-AND-right options are avoid ed altogether.*** Not too long ago, I shared the following three rules with a young aspiring student who was faced with aright-AND-right scenario. My intention was to help her notice that she was indeed facing a situation that she had never encountered before, and that the choice she made today meant eliminating some future directions.

    Embedded in my strategy was to have her ease into this part of young adulthood and not fear such situations as she is bound to experience more in her adult life.Three Rules to a Happy Life:

    1. Never be too proud to change your mind. The sign of a strong leader is one who changes her decision as new information emerges.

    2. Never go for easy. You have one life. Make it matter.

    3. Even after you have carefully considered your options and how each one factors in and factors out possible pathways, flip a coin and name the two sides. If the toss lands on one side that represents the option you chose, and you feel the need to flip again, you have your answer.

    Final words:I’ve encountered countless leaders faced with right-AND-right situations who in the moment, needed an impartial person to help them through the decision: Someone completely separate from their company and usual circle of trusted advisors who although held in high esteem, still tended to have some sort of bias. They have acknowledged that a simple phone call to a professional coach, outside of their structured leadership and mentorship programs, was the game-changing difference. This my friends, was the AHA! moment I had in founding Grand Heron International – for on-demand coaching, for anyone, anywhere, facing a situation where they feel stuck and unable to move forward. I’ve been there, I’ve seen others there and chances are, you’ve been there in your professional life too.

    Remember: Stagnating in indecision is never an option. There are ways to help you see beyond the horizon.

    By Mirella De Civita Ph.D., PCC, MCEC President & Founder of Grand Heron International https://grandheroninternational.ca/

     

  • The One Voice Holding You Back Could Be Your Own

    We act on the things we tell ourselves. Here’s how to make that internal dialogue work for you (your clients).

    As I work with clients to help them become the leaders they want to be, I often find that the singular thing holding them back — or pushing them forward — is what they tell themselves.

    Take, for example, my client Carissa, a high-tech professional on the path to a leadership position. Carissa has a promising career. She holds a Harvard MBA. Her company has flagged her as a high-potential leader and enrolled her in a robust leadership program.

    During our first coaching session, I asked Carissa what she’d like to work on. “I constantly self-sabotage,” she replied. “I put myself down all the time and I don’t see my own worth.”

    This ongoing internal dialogue affects how she presents herself at work. When Carissa facilitates meetings, she uses self-deprecating phrases like, “I’m not an expert,” “I’m not sure if this is right,” and “I may be wrong.” This language immediately tells her audience, “I don’t believe in myself. You shouldn’t either.”

    Carissa’s internal dialogue affects her non-verbal communication, too. When she’s not leading a meeting, she tends to sit in the back of the room, out of sight, sending the message that she does not belong. Even though her education, experience, and performance more than prove she does.

    There are many cultural, sociological, and personal reasons behind the things we say to ourselves. But one thing is universally true: Our internal dialogue can become so powerful that it can change the way we live our lives.

    The story you tell yourself can hold you back, or it can power you to move forward. Here are some strategies to help you change your story.

    1. Identify your story. Many of us are not aware of our internal dialogue. The first step is figuring out what we’re telling ourselves, and making sure it’s helping, not hurting. What do you say to yourself after a success? After a failure? How do you approach high-stress situations — do you build yourself up, or tear yourself down?

    2. Develop a growth mindset. According to researcher Carol Dweck, there are two types of mindsets — a fixed mindset and a growth mindset. People who hold fixed mindsets believe their talents and abilities are permanently in place, inflexible to change. On the other hand, people with growth mindsets focus on the future. They believe their talents and abilities can grow and develop. Our internal dialogue can reflect a fixed mindset (“I’m just not good at public speaking”) or a growth mindset (“With some practice, I’ll be a great public speaker.”)

    3. Think in the “now.” People often place conditions on their happiness or readiness for success — “I’ll be happy when I get a different job,” or “I’ll be confident at work once I have enough experience.” This type of thinking may focus on the future, but it is limiting. It keeps us from living in the moment, from taking the experience, knowledge and confidence we have now and using it as fuel for growth.

    4. Treat yourself with respect. Before you engage in internal dialogue, ask yourself, is this something I would say to a friend? A colleague? A family member? If it’s something you wouldn’t say to someone you respect, don’t say it to yourself. The inspirational George Raveling, Nike’s former Director of International Basketball, said it best when he said: “Most relationships come with an expiration date. The most important relationship you will ever have is the relationship you have with yourself.”

    5. Be intentional. In his book “Triggers” executive coach and author Marshall Goldsmith describes a set of questions he asks himself at the end of each day. The questions start with the phrase, “Have I done my best” as it relates to health, relationships, and professional matters. For example, “Have I done my best today to build positive relationships?” Think if there are any areas of your life that can benefit from specific, intentional self-messaging. Replacing negative, self-sabotaging internal dialogue with questions like these can lead us on a more proactive, positive path.

    6. Meditate with a mantra. Marshall’s questions are intentional. Another way to integrate a daily intention is through meditation, specifically with a mantra that focuses us in a positive direction. Deepak Chopra has authored many of my favorite mantras, including “Everything I desire is within me” and “I move through my days light-hearted and carefree, knowing all is well.”

    As I meditate, I use these mantras as reminders of my intention, reminders that as I change my internal dialogue — my own story — I change my life.

    Published on: Sep 17, 2018 Inc.com https://www.inc.com/maya-hu-chan/the-one-voice-holding-you-back-could-be-your-own.html?cid=search

  • Skim Reading Is The New Normal

  • How You Need to Balance Belonging with Standing Out

    How You Need to Balance Belonging with Standing Out

    by Liz Guthridge, MCEC | Jul 7, 2018 | Blog | 0 comments

    Superstars, rock stars, and heroes who save the day have fallen out of favor in many organizations.

    Now we’re encouraged to celebrate team players who cooperate, collaborate, and play well with others.

    They combine their brainpower to deal with the complexity surrounding us. (Yes, it’s a VUCA–volatile, uncertain, complex and ambiguous—world.) More brains are better than one as it’s impossible for one person to know all the answers, or even pose all the key questions.

    Yet, we still need to pay attention to and honor individuals and their personal contributions.

    Any time we ignore an individual’s “superpowers” or even a person’s unique characteristics, we turn a blind eye to our humanity. As a result, we’re doing a disservice to individual team members and the team as a whole that can hurt individual as well as team performance.

    Here’s why individual recognition is so important. We humans have two competing social needs—the need to belong and the need to stand out from the crowd. Or in a work setting, stand out on the team.

    Scientists have a name for this dynamic duality: optimal distinctiveness.

    Becoming aware of this 27-year-old concept is the first step to improving individual performance and creating more inclusive, better performing teams.

    The second step is finding the optimal balance between homogeneity and uniqueness. This is challenging, not only for an individual, but also for team leaders and especially organizational leaders.

    The upside of belonging gives you as a team member purpose, meaning and clarity. Let’s say you’re proud to be a member of a special project team that’s tackling a vital organizational issue, such as expanding services to new customers, including animal owners.

    On the downside, you don’t want your group membership to crush your personality or silence your distinct voice, especially when you have a strong point of view. For instance, what if you don’t have much passion or compassion for one of the new customer niches, such as exotic animal owners?

    For some individuals, getting and staying in equilibrium with certain groups can be a continual challenge.

    As a leader, you may need to make an effort to achieve optimal distinctiveness for your teams or organization unless the duality is baked into your organizational DNA.

    For instance, consider Airbnb and Planned Parenthood. Both are built around group belonging and individual uniqueness. Airbnb hosts offer up their personal homes to guests. In Planned Parenthood’s case, stand-alone affiliates around the United States provide reproductive health care and other related services to local patients. These affiliates represent the Planned Parenthood brand as they adjust their delivery to fit their local community.

    For leaders in other types of organizations, here are three suggestions for working toward applying optimal distinctiveness:

    Embrace inclusion, recognizing that it affects everyone. As the neuroscientists say, if you aren’t actively including people, you’re accidentally excluding them. The human brain interprets ambiguity as a potential threat, which can make people feel they don’t belong and you as a leader may not care about them. From a practical perspective,

    as a leader you can make people feel included by being clear in your words and actions that they are members of the group and play an important role.

    Remind them of the group’s purpose.

    Keep them regularly informed.

    Help them and others find common ground as they work.

    Encourage them to speak up, reinforcing that it’s a safe place. (For more about the importance of psychological safety and inclusion, check out Why you need safety for a high-performing culture.)

    Get to know team members as individuals and treat them according to the platinum rule. This means treating people the way they want to be treated.

    For example, if they prefer private recognition over public recognition, write them a handwritten, personal note to thank them for their contribution instead of asking them to stand up to be applauded at a public meeting.

    In other situations, be curious about their interests outside of work, such as entertainment preferences, hobbies and family, and ask about them.

    And support them in bringing their whole self to work and expressing their individuality.

    Champion volunteer issues groups, rather than employee resource groups. As background, the traditional employee resource groups, such as women’s groups, African-American Groups, and LGBTQ groups, heighten the differences among individuals in the workforce. This can lead to two detrimental effects. Those who don’t fit the group membership criteria feel excluded. (This has contributed to many white males feeling they’re being left behind in diversity initiatives.) Also, research has shown that identity groups can act as an echo chamber for individuals, perpetuating self-stereotypes, such as women feeling they lack confidence.

    By contrast, volunteer issue groups, such as teams working to protect the environment, further education, or address customer concerns, give interested individuals an opportunity to contribute their unique gifts for a good cause and work with others who share their interests.

    Yes, there’s pressure between belonging and maintaining individual identity. However, it’s a healthy tension that contributes to our humanness. And if individuals and leaders make an effort to strike a balance both as individuals and teams, they can achieve amazing things together.

    How do you balance belonging with standing out?

    Resource: https://connectconsultinggroup.com/how-you-need-to-balance-belonging-with-standing-out/

  • 4 Signs an Executive Isn’t Ready for Coaching

    The stigma of asking for or being assigned an executive coach is vanishing quickly. The growth of the industry tells us so. In the U.S. alone, $1 billion was spent on business, personal and relationship coaches last year, according to IbisWorld, up about 20% from five years earlier. And the number of business coaches worldwide has zoomed more than 60% since 2007, according to one coaching association. But while executive coaches have improved the performance of many already-good managers and sanded the rough edges off many less effective ones, they aren’t a miracle cure. In fact, we have seen many companies waste considerable sums by assigning coaches to managers who just aren’t ready to be coached, no matter how effective the coaches may be.

    So how do those who control the coaching purse strings — HR, talent managers, and other buyers — avoid throwing money away on uncoachable executives? Considering that a year’s engagement with a top executive coach can cost more than $100,000, it’s an important question.

    From nearly 35 years of coaching hundreds of executives, our firm has noticed a pattern of red flags that indicate when a coaching investment will be wasted. Here are four things to watch out for:

    1. They blame external factors for their problems.

    When things go wrong, does this person always have an excuse? Maybe they point a finger at the quality of their team, a lack of resources, or even their boss.

    When leaders argue about the validity of your reasons for offering coaching, or offer excuses or defenses for poor results, it can be a sign that they lack self-awareness. Before any coaching can be effective, they need to wake up to the ways their actions affect others.

    One CEO we worked with was known for his smart turnarounds of a large media company. But he was struggling to get along with his executive team. Finally, several board directors suggested he should seek out a coach. After multiple sessions, he had shared little information about himself, and we were no closer to figuring out the root of the problem. Stymied, we suggested that we observe the next executive team meeting.

    Suddenly, all was clear. We were shocked by how he controlled the conversation in the room. He simply spoke over other people with a volume of words that was unfathomable. When he left the room to take a call, his team members erupted with frustration. It was obvious that this CEO was completely out of touch — something that became even more apparent later on, when he asked us to tell the board how positively he was responding to coaching.

    Leaders like this often ignore criticism if it doesn’t jibe with their view of themselves — and such feedback is easy to ignore if it’s buried in a performance review or mentioned briefly in a larger conversation. Conducting a non-judgmental, just-the-facts 360-degree review could help them see the reality of their situation. Until they can see what others see and why it matters, they won’t examine their behavior, and coaching will be useless.

    2. You can’t get on their calendar.

    Some leaders claim to be receptive to coaching but just can’t find the time. They may cancel sessions at the last minute, constantly reschedule, or, when they do show up, be visibly distracted. They lack space for coaching both in their calendar, and in their mind.

    Unlike the oblivious leader, the too-busy leader is often quite likable. They will apologize for being hard to pin down, and be very direct about how busy they are. Don’t be surprised if they’re flattered to be offered coaching. But coaching can’t be crammed into the schedule of a leader who wears their busy-ness as a badge of honor. Their inability to prioritize is a sign they need coaching, but their unwillingness to make room for it suggests they won’t be a good coaching investment.

    A brilliant engineer we know had been promoted three times in four years, and by the time he was nearly 30 he was a group president at a U.S. manufacturing company. Diligent, humble, and smart, he could hold a room spellbound with only a marker and a whiteboard as he worked out solutions to highly technical problems. However, as adept as he was at the technical aspects of his job, he now had 20 people reporting to him whom he had no idea how to manage.

    After three months of coaching, his superiors could see it was going nowhere. The executive often rescheduled his sessions, telling his coach he didn’t have the time. He believed he couldn’t set aside the time to improve himself. That made him uncoachable.

    HR managers should do some reality testing to ensure the too-busy leader is willing to make room for coaching. To benefit from coaching, too-busy leaders must make the space to be fully present, both during the coaching sessions and after, doing the difficult work of developing new mindsets, skills, and habits. Ask this person what tasks or responsibilities they’d be willing to give up or delegate, even temporarily, to make time for coaching. If they struggle to think of any, give them a gentle but firm ultimatum as part of a career planning conversation: that they have plateaued at the company and won’t go to the next level until they make time for self-development.

    3. They focus too much on tips and tactics.

    Some leaders eagerly agree to coaching, but then avoid the deeper inquiries required for meaningful transformation. They’re willing to modify behaviors, but not beliefs. They view coaching as medicine that, if taken regularly, will help them get ahead.

    The quick-fix leader becomes frustrated when their coach asks questions that require self-reflection. They want answers, not questions. “You’re the expert, you tell me,” they’ll say in response to questions from the coach, or “What if I did this?” Everything comes back to tactics. (A related warning sign is if a leader asks how quickly the coaching can be finished — especially if they demand that the cycle be compressed.)

    Although coaches sometimes offer suggestions, their real job is to help executives uncover the assumptions driving their behavior. Only then can a coach help them challenge self-limiting beliefs that block their development. However, the quick-fix leader has little interest in this process.

    One CEO we worked with was leading a family business that had recently been sold to a large company. He was told by a leader in the new parent company (who himself had benefitted from coaching) that coaching would help him make the transition. The CEO gladly accepted, wanting to be seen as a peer.

    However, it wasn’t long into the first coaching session that he showed his entire focus was on “doing whatever other successful people did.” The coach worked tirelessly to shift the conversation to the CEO’s purpose and goals. Each time, however, he shifted the discussion back to the “secrets of success” of other organizational leaders he wanted to emulate. Ultimately, he was passed over for a permanent role on the parent company’s leadership team, and left the organization.

    To prompt this kind of leader to be open to self-reflection, remind them of all the other times they vowed to change but were unsuccessful. They then might realize they need to work on more than just changing their game plan. Or, introduce them into a preliminary mentoring conversation with one of the leaders they admire. Tell the mentor to share their experience of struggling to develop.

    4. They delay getting started with a coach to “do more research” or “find the right person.”

    To be sure, it’s important to have a good fit between a leader and his coach. But a continual rejection of qualified coaches should give you pause. A related red flag is if the person is acting confused, and asking repeatedly why coaching has been suggested. Assuming you’ve clearly explained why coaching is necessary, this could be a defense mechanism and a signal that the person is not ready to confront their shortcomings. It usually stems from insecurity.

    Being coached can be daunting, and not everyone is ready to take it on. We remember a physician leader who was hired to turn around a business unit of a large medical center. When his staff challenged him, he became emotional. Told by his boss that he needed a coach to help him control his emotions, he was hurt and angrily asked “Why?” — failing again to control his emotions. He was too full of hidden fears for the coaching to be useful. His boss eventually reassigned him, and ultimately he left the organization.

    Reframe coaching as an investment the organization is making in their development rather than a personal fix. Tell them your firm provides this resource for high-potential, top performers to accelerate their success. If this leader can view coaching as something positive to help them achieve their goals, they may warm up to the process.

    When Going Coach-Less Is Not Viable

    After hearing us say that a certain leader is not a good candidate for coaching, an executive who brought us in will often say a variant of this: “Well, he must be coached. We can’t let him continue to manage others the way he has, but we can’t fire him easily either because we need his skills badly.” But imposing coaching on someone who just can’t handle it at the moment isn’t going to help anyone. Companies are better off directing their people development investments elsewhere — skills training or academic programs are often better options.

    Invest your coaching budget in people who have shown the willingness and the capacity to change, and you’ll get a much better return on your investment.

    Source: https://hbr.org/2018/07/4-signs-an-executive-isnt-ready-for-coaching

    By:

    July 09, 2018

  • There’s only one way to truly understand another person’s mind

    It’s often said that we should put ourselves in another person’s shoes in order to better understand their point of view. But psychological research suggests this directive leaves something to be desired: When we imagine the inner lives of others, we don’t necessarily gain real insight into other people’s minds.

    Instead of imagining ourselves in another person’s position, we need to actually get their perspective, according to a recent study (pdf) in the Journal of Personality and Psychology. Researchers from the University of Chicago and Northeastern University in the US and Ben Gurion University in Israel conducted 25 different experiments with strangers, friends, couples, and spouses to assess the accuracy of insights onto other’s thoughts, feelings, attitudes, and mental states.

    Their conclusion, as psychologist Tal Eyal tells Quartz: “We assume that another person thinks or feels about things as we do, when in fact they often do not. So we often use our own perspective to understand other people, but our perspective is often very different from the other person’s perspective.” This “egocentric bias” leads to inaccurate predictions about other people’s feelings and preferences. When we imagine how a friend feels after getting fired, or how they’ll react to an off-color joke or political position, we’re really just thinking of how we would feel in their situation, according to the study.

    In 15 computer-based experiments, each with a minimum of 30 participants, the psychologists asked subjects to guess people’s emotions based on an image, their posture, or a facial expression, for example. Some subjects were instructed to “consult their own feelings,” while others were given no instructions, and some were told to “think hard” or mimic the expressions to better understand. People told to rely on their own feelings as a guide most often provided inaccurate responses. They were unable to guess the correct emotion being displayed.

    The second set of experiments asked subjects to make predictions about the feelings of strangers, friends, and partners. (Strangers interacted briefly to get to know one another before hazarding guesses about the preferences of they had just person they met.) The researchers wanted to see if people who had some meaningful information about each other—like spouses—could make accurate judgments about the other’s reactions to jokes, opinions, videos, and more. It turned out that neither spouses nor strangers nor friends tended to make accurate judgments when “taking another’s perspective.”

     Imagining another person’s perspective doesn’t actually improve our ability to judge how another person thinks or feels. “Our experiments found no evidence that the cognitive effort of imagining oneself in another person’s shoes, studied so widely in the psychological literature, increases a person’s ability to accurately understand another’s mind,” the researchers write. “If anything, perspective taking decreased accuracy overall while occasionally increasing confidence in judgment.” Basically, imagining another person’s perspective may give us the impression that we’re making more accurate judgments. But it doesn’t actually improve our ability to judge how another person thinks or feels.

    There were no gender differences in the results. Across the board, men and women tended not to guess another’s perspective very accurately when putting themselves in the other’s position. But this did increase self-confidence in the accuracy of their predictions—even when their insights were off.

    The good news, however, is that researchers found a simple, concrete way we can all confidently and correctly improve the accuracy of our insights into others’ lives. When people are given a chance to talk to the other person about their opinions before making predictions about them—Eyal calls this “perspective getting” as opposed to perspective taking—they are much more accurate in predicting how others might feel than those instructed to take another’s perspective or given no instructions.

    In the final test, researchers asked subjects both to try putting themselves in another’s shoes, on the one hand, and to talk directly with test partners about their positions on a given topic. The final experiment confirmed that getting another person’s perspective directly, through conversation, increased the accuracy of subjects’ predictions, while simply “taking” another’s perspective did not. This was true for partners, friends, and strangers alike.

    “Increasing interpersonal accuracy seems to require gaining new information rather than utilizing existing knowledge about another person,” the study concludes. “Understanding the mind of another person,” as the researchers put it, is only possible when we actually probe them about what they think, rather than assuming we already know.

    The psychologists believe their study has applications in legal mediation, diplomacy, psychology, and our everyday lives. Whether we’re negotiating at a conference table, fighting with a spouse, or debating the political motivations of voters, we simply can’t rely on intuition for insight, according to Eyal. Only listening will do the trick.

    “Perspective getting allows gaining new information rather than utilizing existing, sometimes biased, information about another person,” Eyal explains to Quartz. “In order to understand what your spouse prefers—don’t try to guess, ask.”

     

    https://qz.com/1319441

  • High-Performing Teams Need Psychological Safety. Here’s How to Create It

    “There’s no team without trust,” (….”and no tribe without trust and direct feedback” cb) says Paul Santagata, Head of Industry at Google. He knows the results of the tech giant’s massive two-year study on team performance, which revealed that the highest-performing teams have one thing in common: psychological safety, the belief that you won’t be punished when you make a mistake ...”or speak your truth”…cb). Studies show that psychological safety allows for moderate risk-taking, speaking your mind, creativity, and sticking your neck out without fear of having it cut off — just the types of behavior that lead to market breakthroughs.

    Ancient evolutionary adaptations explain why psychological safety is both fragile and vital to success in uncertain, interdependent environments. The brain processes a provocation by a boss, competitive coworker, or dismissive subordinate as a life-or-death threat. The amygdala, the alarm bell in the brain, ignites the fight-or-flight response, hijacking higher brain centers. This “act first, think later” brain structure shuts down perspective and analytical reasoning. Quite literally, just when we need it most, we lose our minds. While that fight-or-flight reaction may save us in life-or-death situations, it handicaps the strategic thinking needed in today’s workplace.

    Twenty-first-century success depends on another system — the broaden-and-build mode of positive emotion, which allows us to solve complex problems and foster cooperative relationships. Barbara Fredrickson at the University of North Carolina has found that positive emotions like trust, curiosity, confidence, and inspiration broaden the mind and help us build psychological, social, and physical resources. We become more open-minded, resilient, motivated, and persistent when we feel safe. Humor increases, as does solution-finding and divergent thinking — the cognitive process underlying creativity.

    When the workplace feels challenging but not threatening, teams can sustain the broaden-and-build mode. Oxytocin levels in our brains rise, eliciting trust and trust-making behavior. This is a huge factor in team success, as Santagata attests: “In Google’s fast-paced, highly demanding environment, our success hinges on the ability to take risks and be vulnerable in front of peers.”

    So how can you increase psychological safety on your own team? Try replicating the steps that Santagata took with his:

    1. Approach conflict as a collaborator, not an adversary. We humans hate losing even more than we love winning. A perceived loss triggers attempts to reestablish fairness through competition, criticism, or disengagement, which is a form of workplace-learned helplessness. Santagata knows that true success is a win-win outcome, so when conflicts come up, he avoids triggering a fight-or-flight reaction by asking, “How could we achieve a mutually desirable outcome?”

    2. Speak human to human. Underlying every team’s who-did-what confrontation are universal needs such as respect, competence, social status, and autonomy. Recognizing these deeper needs naturally elicits trust and promotes positive language and behaviors. Santagata reminded his team that even in the most contentious negotiations, the other party is just like them and aims to walk away happy. He led them through a reflection called “Just Like Me,” which asks you to consider:

    • This person has beliefs, perspectives, and opinions, just like me.
    • This person has hopes, anxieties, and vulnerabilities, just like me.
    • This person has friends, family, and perhaps children who love them, just like me.
    • This person wants to feel respected, appreciated, and competent, just like me.
    • This person wishes for peace, joy, and happiness, just like me.

    3. Anticipate reactions and plan countermoves. “Thinking through in advance how your audience will react to your messaging helps ensure your content will be heard, versus your audience hearing an attack on their identity or ego,” explains Santagata.

    Skillfully confront difficult conversations head-on by preparing for likely reactions. For example, you may need to gather concrete evidence to counter defensiveness when discussing hot-button issues. Santagata asks himself, “If I position my point in this manner, what are the possible objections, and how would I respond to those counterarguments?” He says, “Looking at the discussion from this third-party perspective exposes weaknesses in my positions and encourages me to rethink my argument.”

    Specifically, he asks:

    • What are my main points?
    • What are three ways my listeners are likely to respond?
    • How will I respond to each of those scenarios?

    4. Replace blame with curiosity. If team members sense that you’re trying to blame them for something, you become their saber-toothed tiger. John Gottman’s research at the University of Washington shows that blame and criticism reliably escalate conflict, leading to defensiveness and — eventually — to disengagement. The alternative to blame is curiosity. If you believe you already know what the other person is thinking, then you’re not ready to have a conversation. Instead, adopt a learning mindset, knowing you don’t have all the facts. Here’s how:

    • State the problematic behavior or outcome as an observation, and use factual, neutral language. For example, “In the past two months there’s been a noticeable drop in your participation during meetings and progress appears to be slowing on your project.”
    • Engage them in an exploration. For example, “I imagine there are multiple factors at play. Perhaps we could uncover what they are together?”
    • Ask for solutions. The people who are responsible for creating a problem often hold the keys to solving it. That’s why a positive outcome typically depends on their input and buy-in. Ask directly, “What do you think needs to happen here?” Or, “What would be your ideal scenario?” Another question leading to solutions is: “How could I support you?”

    5. Ask for feedback on delivery. Asking for feedback on how you delivered your message disarms your opponent, illuminates blind spots in communication skills, and models fallibility, which increases trust in leaders. Santagata closes difficult conversations with these questions:

    • What worked and what didn’t work in my delivery?
    • How did it feel to hear this message?
    • How could I have presented it more effectively?

    For example, Santagata asked about his delivery after giving his senior manager tough feedback. His manager replied, “This could have felt like a punch in the stomach, but you presented reasonable evidence and that made me want to hear more. You were also eager to discuss the challenges I had, which led to solutions.”

    6. Measure psychological safety. Santagata periodically asks his team how safe they feel and what could enhance their feeling of safety. In addition, his team routinely takes surveys on psychological safety and other team dynamics. Some teams at Google include questions such as, “How confident are you that you won’t receive retaliation or criticism if you admit an error or make a mistake?”

    If you create this sense of psychological safety on your own team starting now, you can expect to see higher levels of engagement, increased motivation to tackle difficult problems, more learning and development opportunities, and better performance.

  • Leading with Grit and Grace

    Leading with Grit and Grace from CB Bowman, CEO Master Corporate Executive Coach

  • How to Build an Onboarding Plan for a New Hire

    Managers are often so driven to recruit talented workers that they neglect to think about what will happen once the new hire arrives ready to work. Big mistake.

    By Peter Vanden Bos

    View original publication on Inc.

    With the economy on the upswing, many growing companies are starting to go after talented new employees. That means a lot of first days on the jobs, and lot of time and money to spend while new staffers get up to speed. What if you could shrink the time it takes for an employee to reach his or her full potential?

    That’s the promise of a growing trend in human-resources management called onboarding; its advocates describe it as a comprehensive approach to bringing on new hires that goes beyond simple orientation. Onboarding plans are intended to make new employees familiar with the overall goals of a company and support them as they embark on early projects all in an effort to achieve the perception of success (and productivity) quickly. The ultimate payoff is to reduce turnover and encourage workers to stay with an organization for a longer tenure.

    ‘It’s really about calculating the cost of hiring new workers to the business,’ says John Sullivan, former chief talent officer for Agilent Technologies and a professor of management at San Francisco State University. ‘Companies need new hires to be productive and, at a small company especially, every employee counts.’

    Here’s a look at how your company can set up an onboarding process to shorten the learning curve for new hires.

    Onboarding a New Hire: Plan Ahead

    Think onboarding begins on an employee’s first day? Wrong. A successful onboarding program actually begins during the recruitment and hiring process, says Erin Perry, director of client solutions at Pinstripe, a recruiting company based in Brookfield, Wisconsin. An onboarding process is linked to and in some ways starts with the employer brand that you create to attract people who are the right fit for your company’s overall goals. ‘If you’re a high tech organization that has a cool brand and that uses social media and talks about innovation when you’re advertising to attract new associates, that’s great,” Perry says. “But if on a new hire’s first day you hand them 15 different forms to fill out, your employment brand message has just died.”

    Experts suggest you begin the orientation process before a candidate is formally hired by including ample information about your workplace and your culture in the Careers section on your website. ‘The orientation should begin at the first click of the mouse when someone first goes on the company’s website, so by the time the person comes in for the interview, they already know quite a lot about the organization,’ says Richard Jordan, a business coach who has been responsible for reshaping the recruiting and orientation process at a number of technology firms. That way, you are more likely to attract candidates who are more engaged with your company’s goals and culture and are more likely to become highly productive employees.

    A new hire will surely be required to fill out a lot of new paperwork, so why not get a head start? Many companies choose to send necessary legal forms along with a formal offer letter. You can also send an employee handbook ahead of time, so that new staff members aren’t overwhelmed with information on the first day.

    HR software and other related applications can also be deployed ahead of time. Automated systems are especially useful because onboarding requires the involvement of multiple departments within a company, all working together to welcome and engage a new employee, to make him or her feel as comfortable as possible from Day One. The right technology can help coordinate various individuals and tasks by taking care of paperwork electronically, or sending notifications alerting IT support staff to configure a new hire’s laptop and BlackBerry.

    Technology can also be an effective way to socialize your new hire into your company’s organizational culture, Perry says. On a company Intranet, you can make available to a new hire multimedia such as video and podcasts that state your company’s overall strategic goals, talk about your company’s values, and provide employee testimonials. As a bonus, these videos can feature company leaders, which will help introduce key players, cutting down on the endless name game that typically happens on an employee’s first day.

    Dig Deeper: How to Improve Your Hiring Practices

    Onboarding a New Hire: On the First Day, Nail the Details

    The prospect of the first day on the job is nerve-wracking. New hires are eager to impress their new bosses. So, if they don’t know where the photocopier is or how to use it, chances are they aren’t going to ask, and will waste time trying to figure the little things out for themselves. And if you throw a bunch of information at them, chances are they’re not going to remember most of it. With an effective onboarding program, you should aim to present basic information in an easy-to-digest fashion, so that a rookie can turn to the more demanding aspects of his or her job.

    The way to do that is to consider the small, logistical details that add up to a sense of comfort and familiarity one has in a workplace. This is good not just for a new hire’s peace of mind, but also for the overall health and well-being of your business. ‘If a person is new and doesn’t know how to use the phone system and accidentally hangs up on a potential client, that client is not going to care that they were new,’ says John Sullivan. ‘They’re just going to be angry.’

    Here’s a list of things you should have ready by the time your new hires walk in the door:

    • Send out an e-mail to everyone in the office so they’re prepared to welcome a new employee.
    • Get the new worker a security badge if he or she needs one.
    • Provide a name plate on his or her desk or office door as a tangible sign that you’ve prepared the space.
    • Set up the computer.
    • Configure the new employee’s e-mail accounts.
    • Provide guides for any necessary software he or she will be using.
    • Set up his or her phone system, and provide instructions for using voicemail.
    • Have a stack of business cards waiting.

    And here’s a list of questions you should answer for the new employee voluntarily:

    • What should he or she bring? (Telling them to bring two forms of ID to verify paperwork is a good idea.)
    • Where should he or she park?
    • Who should he or she ask for in the lobby?
    • Where are the restrooms?
    • Where is the copy machine? (And how does it work?)
    • Where is the cafeteria?
    • Who should the employee talk to if he or she has additional questions? (It’s a good idea to assign a co-worker or a hiring manager as a mentor to check-in with the new hire throughout at least the first week.)

    A new employee’s immediate supervisor should also be present on the first day. ‘The worst thing you can do is have new hires show up when their immediate supervisor isn’t there for three or four days,’ Sullivan says. ‘It’s like getting married and not having your spouse on your honeymoon.’

    Dig Deeper: Mastering a New Employee’s First Day

    Onboarding a New Hire:  Individualizing the Process

    Unlike a traditional first-day orientation, where an employee generally spends a good chunk of time signing forms for Human Resources and reviewing the policies of the organization, onboarding is intended to be a multi-faceted approach. And while the list of things to consider for a new hire’s first day applies to pretty much any employee, that doesn’t mean you should forget about the unique needs of each individual. Quite the opposite, in fact.

    For example, different people prefer different management styles, so why not ask a new employee from the start how he or she wants to be managed? ‘Onboarding is a performance-based, customized approach,’ Sullivan says. ‘Why don’t ask you upfront what is the best way to manage you?’

    A more personal element to the process can engage new employees, giving them the ability to identify their personal goals with the overall success of the organization. Ari Weinzweig, CEO of the Zingerman’s Community of Businesses, a group of food specialty businesses in Ann Arbor, Michigan, still personally teaches an orientation class to new staffers. ‘By taking the time to teach the orientation, the clear message that comes across is that we value them and their work so highly that the head of the company is willing to sit with them to go over things,’ he says.

    Make sure a new staff member understands how he or she can individually contribute to the company. Explain to the employee how your performance appraisal system works, so he or she won’t waste time on things that don’t matter, and can quickly begin to work on key objectives. If you make a custom onboarding plan, ‘you’re leaving the individual with the impression that employees are very important assets to the organization, chosen from among many candidates, and that their talent and potential is recognized,’ Jordan says. ‘You want to make sure you develop their career path within the organization.’

    How vested an employee feels to a company also has to do with the social relationships he or she makes with co-workers. An onboarding process should consider those relationships and facilitate them from the very beginning. Organize a lunch on the first day with the new employee’s team or department the new employee. Or try giving your new employee a week’s worth of gift certificates for lunch, so he or she can take a colleague to lunch each day.

    Dig Deeper: How Hiring Rituals Build Company Culture

    Onboarding a New Hire: Following Through on Your Plan

    On-boarding doesn’t end on the Friday of a new employee’s first week on the job. The process should continue over the span of several months and, during that time, it is essential to solicit feedback from all constituents. A good way to do that is to assign a recruiting manager to keep track of the new hire’s first few months on the job, Jordan says, because that individual will already have developed a relationship with the employee.

    ‘I’m a big believer of surveying at every step of the process,’ Perry says. She suggests surveying at the end of the first week and at the close of each of the employee’s first three months, asking different questions at each stage. Begin with questions about the recruiting process, how the first day met the employee’s expectations, and whether they are struggling with any issues related to technology. Then, start asking whether the employee has the necessary tools to complete his or her job and, finally, begin asking about an employee’s strategic goals. You want to learn how engaged or connected the new hire feels to the organization.

    You also want to make sure someone is accountable, preferably a line manager who realizes the cost savings to the business if a new employee gets up to speed quicker. You want managers to be very aware that you are measuring productivity through metrics. Make sure employees actually are becoming productive and, if they are not, figure out what is going wrong. Continually fine-tune how you onboard employees to make sure you can maximize the benefits of the process.

    Once you’ve done that, you can begin to establish a general checklist of what you want to cover when you’re onboarding. Even within that structured plan or process, make sure you leave room for those personal touches. ‘Your employees are going to get orientated whether you plan for it or not,” Perry observes. “But if you do plan it, it’s a lot more likely to be successful.”